Tuesday, December 27, 2011

homie home!!

im home!!home as if,malaysia~

i miss the humid weather of malaysia.

even only for two weeks...

so,ada siapa2 nak buat meet up?hehe


Saturday, December 24, 2011

light the heart

isn't this pretty???

this is my bedroom,the sliding door's curtain side.

DSC_1131

cant help but stare at them~^^

feels like christmas right?haha.


one more thing,i love listening to bossa nova+jazz.make me feel like im in a warm and cozy cafe,dim light,nice comfortable sofa,a cup of hot coffee,and a soulmate.:)

good night everyone.


Friday, December 23, 2011

foreign students party


yesterday i sing at foreign students party younha's song,Please Take Care of My Boyfriend.
unfortunately,taken video is not so good,my seniors dont really know how to use a dslr,
so sorry,guys...:(

but what i learned from this performance,you need to know your strength and weekness before singing on stage,
dont overdo yourself.
my weakness;
1.im suck at low notes
2.when im nervous,i tend to suck at high notes too :(
when i sing this song for the first time at the rehearsal,its just sooooo bad!
part tarik je tak smpi,sbb bila nervous,your breathing will go wild,and the pitch was all over the place,berterabur~
so i need to make decision,to hold onto my ego and pick another song,or to forget my ego,just lower down the song's pitch.
after all,i choose to lower down the pitch,i never done anything like that during other performance before.
but one thing is,i just wanna do well,so i think i need to do that.
Alhamdulillah,the performance turns out okay.
Not so good for my satisfaction,ive never satisfied with my live singing.
my nervousness make me sing like...urghhhhh stress2 dgr suara sendiri live.
but i guess,that means im normal kan,tak normal kot kalau tak nervous on stage.

thats why i cant become a singer,my live singing sucks heh.
no video,but this is my outfit for the party

foreign student party1

this is my most favorite electric blue dress,electric blue looks flattering on me,
but i dont really like other shades of blue.
my seniors said she heard other people said when im up on stage,'i loveee her dress!'.
only my dress?not me?haha im just joking
i cant agree more,thats why i love this dress so much.

and there's also two beautiful Korean student that came and see me after the performance and say that they cried listen to my singing.awww thats the sweetest compliment~
they said they dont even know what song i sing,or who is the original singer of the song,
but seeing my interpretation of the song through my facial expression and and
my sad voice conveys the lyrics.
.the lyrics were originally sad though,
thank god they can understand what i sing.that means my pronunciation pretty accurate.

im happy to hear that kind of comments.
im always wanna touch people's heart through my singing,
that's is the main reason why i love to sing actually.

foreign student party3

this is them.on my right is hyeo-jin,i forgot the other one's name.but i have their phone number!
they ask me to join them next time bila pergi karaoke.yay!i love making friends,especially with korean :)
you know what,maybe i should just transfer to korea,haha
kidding,too bad i cant.sobs3

and this is the my university's international office's staff.

foreign student party2
they're just so kind~i never have any problem if i have something to deal with them.
and being so supportive of my singing,japanese is so sweet at words you know.
they'll always compliment you sampai satu tahap you cant differentiate,
were they just being sweet,
or they honestly mean it.
but compliments still a compliment,fake or not.
just take it,humble yourself,and smile.:)

see my height changed on the last pic?
ive took off my heels because i need to cycle back home.
beside,its freezing cold!!brrrrr

thanks everyone that come and read my blog.you should know i love you guys so much~
who am i without all your support kan?^^

p/s:2 more days.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Please Take care of My Boyfriend

I hate winter.
I hate cold weather.
But i can wear my fur hat.:)



DSC_0956

one thing i love about living in japan;you can hardly feel that you're overdressed...sebab lagi ramai org yg over dari kau :P


haven't posted any cover for quite a while.
cume sempat record karaoke je.


till then,bye.




p/s:when i can't speak,i sing it.

Monday, December 5, 2011

happy birthday to you~


It's birthday season~heh.
to my two beloved brothers,happy birthday to both of you!

this little cute-chubby one,4th december.10 this year*rasanya lah.LOL umur adik sendiri tak sure*


little bro



this monster-like big one,6th december.:) 16 this year.

big bro

may you both succeed in your life.belajar rajin2 jgn main2 mcm akak korg ni.love you both so much,even aku tak pernah ckp pun kat korg kan heh.dapat kakak kayu mcm ni,sorry ok.miss you both,and others too~

hadiah?tgklah nanti kalau ade duit heh.







mary does go round


p/s:happy birthday to you too.*blow the candles*

Thursday, November 3, 2011

unbreak my heart.

right now,i just cant find any word to console my own heart.
for the 3 years and a half onward starting from next week,i can only come home at 8/9/10 pm everyday after doing all the experiments and research,everyday classes from 840/1010 am,twice/three times a month of saturday's seminar that may end at 6/7 pm,no public holiday,a month and a half spring holidays that has been shorten to a week,a month and a half summer holidays that has been shorten to 2 weeks,that means no vacation,no raya,no friends,no family,everything.

do i have any time for myself?i wanna do lots of things.i wanna talk a walk in the evening at the park,i wanna take a beautiful picture,i wanna sing,i wanna go shopping,i wanna bake myself a cake,i wanna learn how to cook properly,i wanna watch tv,i wanna have a vacation around japan,i wanna go home and see my family,my friends,i wanna laugh as much as i can,i wanna be a human,not a living robot with no friends,no heart.

but now i can only imagine myself cycling on the cold road alone,in the night,as soon as i reach home,i might even dont have any strength to prepare a meal for myself.

it's just too hard to think positively.by only think about it,i cant even breath properly.it feels like im trapped in a chamber,with no way no go out.

for 3 years and a half,3 years and a half...is not a short period.

Japan,you're being so mean to me.please unbreak my heart.you've already make me cry so much.

give me back my life....

i wanna go back to malaysia sooo badly.;(

Sunday, September 25, 2011

it's over...

it's over

in another 3 days,im gonna be all alone,again.....;(

Thursday, September 22, 2011

spot the difference

shall we play a game?:)


spot the difference

spot the difference.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Hello,is it me you're looking for?

no one.



I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes...
I can see it in your smile...
You're all I've ever wanted,
and my arms are open wide...
'Cause you know just what to say...
And you know just what to do...
And I want to tell you so much,
I love you ...

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello,
I've just got to let you know...

'Cause I wonder where you are...
And I wonder what you do...
Are you somewhere feeling lonely,
or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart...
For I haven't got a clue...
But let me start by saying,
I love you ...

Is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are...
And I wonder what you do...
Are you somewhere feeling lonely,
or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart...
For I haven't got a clue...
But let me start by saying...
I love you...



p/s:Are you somewhere feeling lonely,
or is someone loving you?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Maaf Zahir Batin.

raya 01

raya 02

raya 03



-bersama buah hati,hari raya 2011-





with a smile on my face,
you'll never know what inside my heart.




p/s:Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri,Maaf Zahir dan Batin dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki.

Friday, August 26, 2011

i dont know...

i dont know why,
but i dont really have mood for the upcoming raya...
sigh...
when will this pain walk away?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

a poor little cat.

i do love cats.
harini,ondaway balik rumah dari jogging,
i found a cat on the roadside.
selalunya kucing sini tak peramah,nampak org je terus lari.
mungkin sebab kucing org bela je semua.
tapi kucing tadi lain.
sebab dia comot2,mcm takde org bela,
kurus,
mata pun comot2 ade taik mata.
mungkin sebab tu bila dtg dekat dgn dia,dia tak lari.
i play with her a couple of minutes,
so dia manja2 la,gesel2 kat kaki sume.
tapi sebab dah nak maghrib,
nak bukak puasa so kena balik.
then i need to say goodbye to her.

bila jalan,then toleh belakang,
still lagi nampak dia pandang dgn mata sayu.
no matter how many times i turn back,
she still looking at me.
why do i feel sad about this situation?
rasa mcm nak nangis pun ada.

mungkin sebab i feel like im having the same situation with that cat?
tak lawa,comot2,sorg2,
then when someone come to play with me,
when the time comes,
they need to left me?

mungkin....


p/s:5 hari je lagi..
tolong bersungguh2 even paper repeat berduyun2.
somebody please tell me i can do it?
솔직히 말하면,다,참 힘들다~...
heh...^^

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

I guess you don't know



I met you...
fall in love...
and get hurt by that love
Just watching you from where i am,
I must be a fool...
When you cried,
I cried...
When you smiled,
I smiled...
Like a child, just copying whatever you do,
I must be a fool...

Even when I say I love you,
I guess you can’t hear me...
Even if I say this is love,
I guess you don’t know it...
I guess you can't see my tears pouring down from my heart...

Even if I call out your name,
I guess you can’t hear me...
Even when I say you are the only one for me,
I guess you don’t know it...
I guess I can't have this blind love,
this foolish love...

Please look behind you just once,
I’m behind you.
When you are tired from another love,
When you are hurt by another love,
Please look behind you just once...

Even when I say I love you,
I guess you can’t hear me...
Even if I say this is love,
I guess you don’t know it...
I guess you can't see my tears pouring down from my heart...

Even if I call out your name,
I guess you can’t hear me...
Even when I say you are the only one for me,
I guess you don’t know it...
My blind love,
my foolish love...

Today I call you a thousand times again...
I know you can’t hear me,
but i still call on you...

Because I love you,
So please look at me...
Because I love only you,
So please come to me...
If you come just one step closer,
I will wait for you right there...

I’m sorry,
because I only know you...
Because I can't live without you.
My stubborn love calls on only you...
But you don’t know…




p/s:'When you are tired from another love,
When you are hurt by another love,
Please look behind you just once...'

Sunday, July 31, 2011

derma darah dan selamat berpuasa..

hari sabtu lepas pertama kali derma darah.sikit excited heh.
sempena nak bulan Ramadhan ni ape salahnya kita buat amal kebajikan lebih...

DSC_0731

muka org excited haha.
tapi apa yang penting,before kita boleh derma darah kan ade medical check kan.so dari situ dapat tgk,tekanan darah pun dah kurang berbanding last time buat medical check up masa bulan 4 lepas,tak ingat exactly berapa tapi rasanya dalam 140/90 mmHg,heartbeat sampai 90 per minute ape ke hal nya..yup,mmg tinggi.masa tu mmg sungguh2 stress dengan mcm2,masalah emosi,tak cukup tidur,kerja banyak masalah banyak,makan tak tentu,lepas tu berat pun taknak berat nak dekat2 overweight pulak kan.

now its not semua masalah dah takde.hidup kalau tak de masalah mungkin bukan hidup.maybe i've learn how to encounter each of them slowly?hmm

so this time tekanan darah dah kurang jadi around hmmm berapa ek?125/75 mmHg?lebih kurang la tak ingt.heartbeat pun dah kurang jadi 70++ per minute.tak ingaaatt..nurse tu tulis laju sgt.

a healthy diet really make a big different.
no oily food,fast food,sweets etc2...
jogging and exercising..
but its just sooooo hard!!!
Tuhan je yang tau macam mana susahnya.
lagi2 untuk manusia yang kat atas ni yang tak makan sayur n buah.
the only sayur yg boleh makan is mix vege,n buah pun setakat berry2 n kismis?
sadis...

if only i can eat veges n fruits i dont think it'll be as hard as this..
i certainly will eat salad for most of my meals..sob3..
im worried,mcm mana agaknya balik malaysia nanti.
makanan malaysia semuanya membimbangkan..
not that they're sooo bad,tapi diri sendiri yg tak boleh nak control nafsu makan kot.

DSC_0733

tangan yang dah berbalut

tak amik gambar masa derma sebab datang sorg2,takde org nak amikkan gambar.sebenarnya tak sakit pun rupanya derma darah.sakitla sikit masa mula2 cucuk tu but then dah tak sedar pun tup2 dah habis amik,dok borak2 ngan nurse yang baik tu.that's one of the thing that i love about japanese people.they're so kind and friendly,tambah2 lagi bila kita tahu cakap bahasa diorg,berton2 dapat pujian.yes diorg mmg mulut manis,kita mesti akan cakap 'alah tah ye tah tidak dorg puji tu ikhlas' but hey,something nice that make you smile isn't a bad thing kan?
DSC_0735

the counter untuk daftar.

ramai sebenarnya org yang datang derma darah ni,budak2 sekolah pun ade datang.that is so impressive.sebab tak pernah derma darah kat malaysia,kinda wonder,kalau kat malaysia pun seramai ni ke org derma darah?

org yg jaga kaunter tu sebenarnya sgt risau bila nampak foreigner masuk because they think that they need to speak in english.haha dont worry,lecture punya bahasa jepun lebih complicated dari ni,im used to it.


DSC_0738

the card that we get after the blood donation.

perempuan boleh derma darah setiap 4 bulan sekali.
n i think im gonna do it once in 4 months mulai dari skrg.
it's a good thing right?helping other people that might need our blood to continue their life.
and it's also good for our health,for the blood circulation.
so i can't see any reason not to do it.
im happy that i know i can help other people.
maybe because im not really happy with things going on around me right now?
i dont know

when you're not happy,the best thing to do is,try to make people around you happy.:)

selamat berpuasa kepada semua umat islam baik di mana juga kita berada.
semoga Ramadhan kali ni kita dilimpahi dengan barakah dari-Nya insyaAllah..
Amin...

wont be uploading any cover during this Ramadhan.




p/s:'Miss you, miss you so much, because I miss you so much,
Everyday all by myself, calling and calling you
Want to see you, want to see you, because I want to see you so much
Now it’s like I have this habit, keep calling out your name
It’s the same today...'

Monday, July 25, 2011

punching bag

seriously need a punching bag right now.siapa rela?

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

그럴 겁니다… 잊을 겁니다…



I will forget you...
Starting today...
I don’t know you...
I have never seen you.
We never even walked pass eachother.
I’m okay...
I forgot everything...
I’m happy with my busy life...
I’ve met a great person too...

Love is always like this...
It fades away after some time...
Can’t even remember it...

When love goes away...
another love comes again...
It definitely will...
Even if it hurts now...
it will heal a little later...
It will forget...
I will too...

It’s not difficult...
I will forget everything after today...
I’m just getting used to my changed life...

Love is always like this...
It fades away after some time...
Can’t even remember it...

I will erase everything...
I definitely will...

When love goes away...
another love comes again...
It definitely will...
Even if tears fall now...
I will smile a little later...
I will forget you...
Just like a wound heals...
I will...
I will...
I will forget you...




p/s:i will forget you...

Sunday, July 24, 2011

down


everything's going down,down,down......

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

no need to tell me.

i have no intention on bragging myself.
in fact,if you think im bragging myself right now,
its up to you.
your brain,your thought.
kalau masa sekolah rendah selalu top3,
sekolah menengah mungkin kadang2 masuk top10
kadang2 terkeluar,
AAJ?well hmm nak kata makin teruk tu tak tapi tak stabil.
but now,
to be rank as 53rd place daripada 56 org,
its just,
disappointing me....
well at least there are 3 japanese people below me.
that hardly score even though they learn all this stuff in their own language.

but stil....
sebenarnya,baik tak payah tau.
dari awal dah tau nak jd top12 so that dapat priority untuk pilih lab mana nak masuk,
itu adelah mustahil.

mungkin sepatutnya tak payah amik result tu hari ni.

so,in your eyes,
do i still look like im bragging myself?

-_-"




p/s:3 more weeks to go.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Because I Miss You


Always under exactly the same sky,
always exactly the same day
Other than you're not being here,
there’s nothing different at all
I just want to smile,
want to forget everything
Just like absolutely nothing has happened,
smiling to live my days

Miss you,miss you so much,
because I miss you so much...
Everyday all by myself,
calling and calling you...
Want to see you,want to see you,
because I want to see you so much...
Now it’s like I have this habit,
keep calling out your name...
It’s the same today

I thought I’d let go,
not leaving anything behind
No, no, now I still can’t let you go
Miss you, miss you so much,
because I miss you so much...
Everyday all by myself,
calling and calling you...

Want to see you,want to see you,
because I want to see you so much...
Now it’s like I have this habit,
keep calling out your name...
It’s the same today

Everyday, everyday,
it feels like I’m gonna die...
what should I do?

Love you, love you,
I love you...
I hadn’t even spoken the words,
I just let you go
Sorry, sorry,
do you hear my words?
My late confession,
can you hear it?
I love you...





alone


p/s:Other than you're not being here,
there’s nothing different at all...

annoying

benda yang paling annoying
bila berat sampai satu tahap dah tak reti2 nak turun..!!!!
pfffftttt rasa nak mengamuk pun ada.
panas2 ni buat rasa semua benda annoying,
even tgk diri sendiri dalam cermin pun annoying grrrrrrr....
rasa nak tumbuk org pun ada!

please lah cepat sikit habis exam ni!
arghhhhhh



p/s:ntahlah,mungkin sindrom hormon tak stabil grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Climb





'Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side,
It's the climb...'



Tuesday, July 12, 2011

우리 다시 만나요..



I must've been wrong
I must've believed that you were someone who passes by
I didn't realize that it was this painful
I thought it would just sting and go away quickly
I thought love was just a common thing

But strangely, as the days pass by
As I quickly try to meet other people
You become more focused in my life
You stay inside my head
Did I love you this much?

How are you? Are you like me?
Is your heart hurting like mine?
We just can't.. We just can't seperate
Let's meet again.. We should meet again
Like before...

As I remember the past
As I count the precious memories
There was no one like you
You were so good to me
I can see you better from afar...

How are you? Are you like me?
Is your heart hurting like mine?
We just can't.. We just can't seperate
Let's meet again.. We should meet again
Like before...

I'll go there first and wait for you
At the place where we first met..

Perhaps you aren't coming back because you don't know how I feel
Maybe it's a good thing that we've tried breaking up
Maybe it's a good thing that I've tried living without you
Now I realize how much I want you..
Now I.. Now I love you...
More than you love me..




p/s:sigh....

Monday, July 11, 2011

entahlah

esok paper first.

organic chemistry.

entahlah.

senang ckp,sebenarnya tak paham ape pun ape yang belajar sampai skrg.

mungkin bukan untuk organic chem je,subjek lain pun byk yg tak paham.

nak tawakal pun,

berbanding tawakal,

mungkin harus pasrah.

entahlah.

betul-betul entah.

p/s:damnlah!!!!binatang paling membencikan bila summer da start2 muncul!besa pulak tu lipas rumah ni.bongoklaaaaa....haih.nak tido pun tak tenang

Thursday, July 7, 2011

the battle

11/7 organic chemistry final exam
14/7 repeat paper:environmental hygiene lab test
15/7 microbiology final exam
19/7 radioactive lab test
22/7 radioactive lab report deadline
25/7 drug and therapy test
27/7 pharmacognosy final exam
1/8 pharmaceutics final exam
2/8 radiochemistry final exam
3/8 health and pharmaceutical final exam
4/8 english for medical final exam

and ade lagi 4 paper final yg tatau bila lagi,dan jugak mungkin paper exam akan bertambah tgh2 tu disebabkan tak pass so kena amik repeat exam

the battle hasn't even started,but the confidence level won't go up.
the truth is,im kinda scared.
too many things to do.
one month of final exam is certainly not fun!hmm

please Allah,make everything easier for me,and whenever i fail on something,don't let me disappointed and sad.

always remind me that if i fail,i just need to try it again until i succeed.kan?

Amin.

p/s:good luck for your final exam too.im praying for your success from far away...

Sunday, June 26, 2011

못해


Even if I remove my makeup, I can't do it without tears anymore
Even if the makeup flows down, I'm used to that

Even if I get a call, I can't look at it
Even if I close my eyes, I can't think of anything except your face

I can't even eat because I might think of you
Because I might not be able to digest after you left
Even today I live with tears

I can't listen to the music because it might be a story of you and me
Because they might be like us, I can't do anything
I can't live alone without you

Now I even pick up the phone thinking it might be you
Even though I know it's not you, I wish it was you

Please stop, you are all I have
What am I going to do, I can't do anything alone

I can't even eat because I might think of you
Because I might not be able to digest after you left
Even today I live with tears

I can't listen to the music because it might be a story of you and me
Because they might be like us, I can't do anything
I can't live alone without you

I can't, I can't, I need your love

What's the point of living alone, I'm your girl
I can't do anything without you, I know only you
I can't do anything without you
I can't even die because you might return
I can't do anything without you, I can't live alone without you


p/s:i've running to far away.
i dont even know where i am right now,
or why am i standing here.
i'm running away from everyone,
from everything.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

flu



some say,it will only hurt for a while,
just like a momentary flu.



so when will this flu heal?




p/s:too much dose of slow songs,is harmful to heart.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

congratulation!

sometimes,some people just don't have any common sense.
when a girl just fell down,and then she tried her best to stand up again.
joke around and laugh a bit because of her failure
and of course,because she's a girl.
she might cry,
complaining this and that.
but she's trying alone to stand up,
without even asking anyone to help her.

and towards someone like that,
not even offers any help,
you stand around her,
and make fun of her,
laugh at her,
saying how stupid she is,
saying that she just can't never stand up again.

she's not asking anyone to feel sorry for her,
but if you're not gonna give any help,
just shut up,and walk away.

congratulation!*clap clap clap*
you really know how to pour salt on someone's wound!
keep on trolling and have fun!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

to-do-list

things to do until the beginning of August

1.lab
2.lab report
3.lab exams
4.classes
5.mock pharmacy rehearsal
6.mock pharmacy test
7.drug therapy exam
8.lab again
9.along with final exams,11 papers(and jadual pun tak keluar2,baru tau 3 paper je bila)
10.and lab report
11.lab exam lagi
12.repeat paper for the final exam(mesti kena punya)
13.this is quite important.TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT!(im fat,like really fat compared to these skinny japanese girls arghhh sakit hati,dorg makan mcm ape je byk jugak jugak.i think im a freak now.with the ipod app i wrote down whatever ive eat,all the exercises and do the calorie counting strictly,kalau boleh hari2 nak bawah 1000kcal,tp mmg tipu r kan bley hari2 mcm tu)
14.to practice the guitar(not so important,i can skip this)

you know.sometimes i do hate my life!

kenapa mid term habis 25hb 6 tapi final start 11 hb 7?
kenapa masa final nak kena ade lab n kelas jugak,n lab report,n lab exam?
kenapa ada lab report yg nak kena handwitten but instead of lab report sahaja,kena pulak tulis pasal 35 jenis herba punya details?35 okay,bukan 10 ke.like WHAAAATTTT????!!!
padahal ade exam kot masa tu.
tak boleh ke jadik lebih considerable?duhh-_-"

kenapa paper english nak kena translate dari english pergi japanese?
i dont wanna be a translator.
and i dont even know,if my mark sucks,is that because my english,or my japanese?
perhaps both?
yeah,mmg english mmg semakin tahi dah kalau tak guna,lepastu asik nak kena translate je.
kalau suruh translate pergi bm pun belum tentu boleh buat.
we're not trained to be a translator,and i seriously dont have that skill.

and for some people yg suka kata student kat oversea suka dok perabih duit kerajaan,try meh datang sini tgk how stress you can be,especially if its not an english-speaking country.well,kalau kena campak kat UK sekali pun belum tentu lagi aku cemerlang kan.

its just,stressful.i really wanna learn n study something dalam bahasa ibunda that is malay bukan english pun.how lucky these japanese are that they can learn every single thing in their own language.in fact org dtg negara dia kena belajar bahasa dia.

and its actually reallly stressful.people might say im lucky because i know about 3.2 language;malay,english,japanese,and the other 0.2 might be my korean.tapiiii...bukannya completely fluent pun english and japanese tu.

i just hate the fact that i cant fully understand what the lecturers,the books,the other people said 100%.yup kalau blaja bm pun belum tentu 100% but atleast,when you read it,lagi senang nak melekat kat otak compared to foreign language.

it's soo tiring bila baca buku,other than you memorize the content.you need to also memorize the sentence,and even for japanese lang.u need to memorize the kanji(go google it if you dont know what it is).kalau satu nama disease nak ada sampai 8ketul kanji,yep,i'll end up memorize onle half of it,or maybe semuanya hafal,tapi susunan tunggang langgang.

stress.utk mock pharmacy,kena berckp dgn patient as if you're really a pharmacist.the language barrier really freak me out.memanglah kalau takat borak2 ngan kawan tu boleh,tapi bukan semuanya paham pun.and what if i miss the important part that the patient trying to say to me,what if i cant understand what he/she said?what if she cant understand what im trying to say?what if i cant read the prescription?

everytime when i need to be in group for a presentation or whatever it is,i feel like im suck a burdened for the others.i cant really present fluently in japanese,unless its just reading the text,itupun tersangkut2.

i hate being a burdened to another person.
i hate my stupid,learnt-but-forget look.
i hate it when what achieve doesnt meet my expectation,or other people expectation.
sometime,i really feel stupid.

can i really pass the 6th year entrance exam?can i really be a good pharmacist in the future
sedangkan sekarang pun tiap kali belajar,lepas exam,lupa,dahlah tu,blajar pun bukan sumenye ingat.

im,actually,really,afraid of what will i need to go through in the future.fikir je pun dah penat.you will say'stop complaining and do your work!'

i know,complaining doesnt make anything better,but at least give me some space to express what i feel.

sometime,i do regret,why did i choose to study pharmacy,kat jepun lagi.because it scholarship?yes.i dont wanna use my parents money since the other 5 siblings are still in school.to look cool?maybe.because i love medic?definitely not,in fact i feel like fainting tgk darah byk2 or surgery ke.because i hate physic?this is another yes.i dont think my neurons can digest all the physic theories.i really suck at physic.

tapi, its the way that ive chose.i know,i need to accept that.usaha,doa,tawakal..but because im just a normal human being,yang bukannya maksum.i do have thousands of weakness.antaranya 1.i complained,2.i do feel alone,i need someone to talk with,3.i do feel tired.banyak lagi takkan nak list semua kang sampai esok tak habis tulis.

i might look confident,but im not.
i might look like i need no shoulder,but im not.
the confidence level goes up...and down..up and down...
i even envy my friends that study in Msia,semua sibuk mengejar dekan,while me,nak pass pun nyawa2 ikan.60 marks to pass isnt a joke.

i do feel tired on this long journey.a lot more to go.can i rest for a bit?can someone please lend me your shoulder so that i can lean on you for a while?

complaining,thats all you can do.
enough,amalia.
back to your work.

p/s:힘들어...

Sunday, June 12, 2011

If you see him...

If you see him
Tell him I wish him well
How am I doing?
Well, sometimes is hard to tell
I still miss him more than ever
But please dont say a word
If you see him
If you see him

If you see her
Tell her I'm doing fine
And if you want to
Say that I think of her from time to time
Ask her if she ever wonders
Where we both went wrong
If you see her
If you see her

I still want her
I still need him so
I dont know why we let each other go

If you see her
Tell her the lights still on for her
Nothing's changed
Deep down the fire still burns for him

And even if it takes forever say I'll still be here
If you see him
If you see her
If you see him
If you see her

p/s:I dont know why we let each other go

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Sunday, June 5, 2011

On Rainy days,I'm Always...


On Rainy Days
When the world turns dark
And the rain quietly falls
Everything is still

Even today, without a doubt
I can’t get out of it
I can’t get out from the thoughts of you

Now
I know that it’s the end
I know that it’s all just foolishness
Now I know that it’s not true
I am just disappointed in myself for
Not being able to get a hold of you because of that pride

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well


Now
I erased all of you
I emptied out all of you
But when the rain falls again
All the memories of you I hid with effort
It all comes back, it must be looking for you

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

To you,Now there is no path for me to return
But looking at your happy face
I will still try to laugh since I was the one
Without the strength to stop you

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well






ALWAYS

I can't even begin to count
All the thoughts I have of you
The light shining in my room quietly searches
For the traces you left behind

Now everything
In this world seems to lose its color
Nothing is certain
But when I'm with you, I want to believe

With just your smile
I felt like I could see tomorrow
If someone was ever hurt
You wouldn't hesitate
To race to their side, I know it

The warmth of your hand, touching my shoulder
I still can't forget it
In the endlessly flowing crowd
We held our breaths and drew close

Love is like the seasons
That continue to change and that's okay
I don't know what tomorrow brings
But when I'm with you, I want to believe

"Goodbye," I wonder if you'll even forget
That night when we saw eternity
Will I be able to smile with you always?
Somewhere, someday, I'll lose you
But until then we'll smile

Even if our days together
Were all a mistake
I don't care anymore, please...

"Goodbye," I wonder if you'll even forget
That night when we saw eternity
Will I be able to smile with you always?

Until that place, that day where I lose you

With just your smile
I felt like I could see tomorrow
If someone was ever hurt
You wouldn't hesitate
To race to their side, I know...





p/s:orang kata,kalau seseorang muncul dalam mimpi kita,
maknanya dia rindukan kita.
i'll prove it wrong.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Hatiku Milikmu


Pernahkah engkau hargai
cintaku yang sejati
pernahkah engkau mengerti
akan diriku ini

Betapa hebatnya cintamu
memberiku sejuta pilu
betapa agungnya asmaramu
membuatku terpaku

Disisimu aku terdiam seribu bahasa
dihatiku bergetar sejuta rasa
namun sukar untuk aku meluahkan
kucinta padamu

Nafasku terhenti bila melihat dirimu
terasa batas degupan jantungku
mungkinkah hatimu milikku jua
kusayang padamu

Kan kuabadikan dikau
suatu kenangan yang manis
yang tak mungkin aku lupa
untuk selamanya

Kan kucoretkan kenanganmu
dalam sanubariku ini
dapat jadi yang terindah
di dalam hidupku ini

Disisimu aku terdiam seribu bahasa
dihatiku bergetar sejuta rasa
namun sukar untuk aku meluahkan
kucinta padamu

Nafasku terhenti bila melihat dirimu
terasa batas degupan jantungku
mungkinkah hatimu milikku jua
kusayang padamu

Bagai bahtera yang dilanda badai
Gelora cintamu
Mengoncang jiwaku
Berombak mencari
Daratan yang damai
Ohhh cintaku

Disisimu aku terdiam seribu bahasa
dihatiku bergetar sejuta rasa
namun sukar untuk aku meluahkan
kucinta padamu

Nafasku terhenti bila melihat dirimu
terasa batas degupan jantungku ini
mungkinkah hatimu milikku jua
kusayang padamu

Aku coretkan kenanganmu
dalam sanubariku ini
agar jadi yang terindah
dalam hidupku ini



p/s:sepantas cahaya.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.


Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Mengasihani.

1.Bukankah Kami telah melapangkan untukmu dadamu?,
2.Dan Kami telah menghilangkan dari padamu bebanmu,
3.yang memberatkan punggungmu?
4.Dan Kami tinggikan bagimu sebutan (nama)mu.
5.Kerana sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan itu ada kemudahan,
6.sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.
7.Maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain,
8.dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap.















p/s:dan sekiranya telah tiba masaku untuk memulangkan kembali cahaya dan gembira yang telah Kau pinjamkan sementara waktu untukku,Kau ikhlaskanlah hati ini,Ya Allah.

Monday, May 23, 2011

smoking

i try to quit smoking.









to stop or not,both,killing me softly....

p/s:not literally

Sunday, May 22, 2011

비가 오는 날엔



When the world turns dark
And the rain quietly falls
Everything is still

Even today, without a doubt
I can’t get out of it
I can’t get out from the thoughts of you

Now
I know that it’s the end
I know that it’s all just foolishness
Now I know that it’s not true

I am just disappointed in myself for
Not being able to get a hold of you because of that pride

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night

When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

I must be drunk, I think I need to stop drinking
Since the rain is falling, I think I might fall as well
Well this doesn’t mean that I miss you, no it doesn’t mean that
It just means that the time we had together was a bit sharp
When it’s the type of day that you really liked
I keep opening the raw memories of you
Making the excuse that it’s all memories, I take a step forward
I don’t even make the effort to escape

Now
I erased all of you
I emptied out all of you
But when the rain falls again

All the memories of you I hid with effort
It all comes back, it must be looking for you

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

To you..Now there is no path for me to return
But looking at your happy face
I will still try to laugh since I was the one
Without the strength to stop you....

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

What can I do about something that already ended?
I’m just regretting after like the stupid fool I am
Rain always falls so it will repeat again
When it stops, that’s when I will stop as well

Rain always falls so it will repeat again
When it stops, that’s when I will stop as well....

p/s:"What can I do about something that already ended?"

Friday, May 20, 2011

난 그 사람이 아프다.




지금 생각해도 가슴 떨려
수줍게 넌 내게 고백했지
내리는 벚꽃 지나 겨울이 올 때까지
언제나 너와 같이 있고 싶어

아마
비 오던 여름날 밤이었을거야
추워 입술이 파랗게 질린 나 그리고 그대

내 손을 잡으며 입술을 맞추고
떨리던 나를 꼭 안아주던 그대
이제와 솔직히 입맞춤보다 더
떨리던 나를 안아주던
그대의 품이 더 좋았어

내가 어떻게 해야 그댈 잊을 수 있을까
우리 헤어지게 된 날부터
내가 여기 살았었고
그대가 내게 살았었던 날들

나 솔직히 무섭다
그대 없는 생활 어떻게 버틸지
함께한 시간이 많아서 였을까
생각할수록 자꾸만 미안했던 일이 떠올라

나 솔직히 무섭다
어제처럼 그대 있을 것만 같은데
하루에도 몇 번 그대 닮은 뒷모습에
가슴 주저앉는 이런 나를 어떻게 해야 하니

그댄 다 잊었겠지
내 귓가를 속삭이면서 사랑한다던 고백
그댄 알고 있을까
내가 얼마나 사랑했는지
또 얼마를 그리워해야 그댈 잊을 수 있을지

난 그대가 아프다
언제나 말없이 환히 웃던 모습
못난 내 성격에 너무도 착했던
그대를 만난 건
정말이지 행운 이었다 생각해

난 그대가 아프다
여리고 순해서 눈물도 많았었지
이렇게 힘든데
이별을 말한 내가 이 정돈데
그대는 지금 얼마나 아플지

난 그대가 아프다
난 그 사람이 미안해
난 난 그 사람이 아프다


p/s:이젠 어떡하죠?