amalia alias

worst feeling ever

2012-02-14T03:51:00.004+09:00

the 'im the most stupid person in the world' feeling is the worst feeling ever.

and that feeling comes when there're exams/tests.

this is one never-ending journey.

*cries*（；_・）

p/s:aku dah tatau mcm mane nk stay positive dah.

nk nangis,nk muntah.semua ade.otak aku cramp dah.

Aiman Hakim Ridza :)

2012-02-08T02:51:00.004+09:00

nama pun mcm bunyik novel gila,Aiman Hakim Ridza heh

padahal selama ni xpernah tau pun kewujudan Aiman mentor ni.

almaklumlah,bkn tggl malaysia,mlsla nk amik tau sgt

lps tu blik msia haritu tertgk plak epi 3 Vanilla Coklat ni kat tv.

'eh comel jugak mamat ni.crita pun cam menarik'

kan da tersangkut~

haritu abg remy,skrg amir pulak...mana satu ni??-_-''

heh

eh gua tak pernah lg eksaited tgk drama Melayu smpi tertunggu2 episod next.

sbb tu smpi tulis kat blog sakainya heh

gua rasa tak cool ah camni aduiduidui

dok senyum sorg2 mcm gila kan aaaaaa

stress ah tgk Vanilla Coklat ni,

Amir & Zara ni comel sgtlaaaa

sweet tahap nak potong kaki kan...manis sangattt eeeeee
padahal dialog dia simple2 je pun,tapi sweet lebihla awww

ok sudah2 tu terkinja2 tersengih2
back to buku.

kau esok paper pharmacognosy tak ingat kan?????

p/s:ep 8,Amir:'you're mine...'demit gua tgk smbil gigit2 chopstick

dia punya meghenyam gatainya haha

comellah~

Hyeon-Ji & Seok-Yeo

2012-01-30T19:57:00.008+09:00

Last Sunday im going out with these beautiful Korean friends of mine,hyeon-ji and seok-yeo

camera out of focus,menyampah betul-_-''

we're having lunch at spaghetti restaurant,and then went for a nice cafe.

Korean do like cafe so much haha

Malangnya kat Jepun tak byk cafe mcm korea,bersepah2 cafe,

maka pancit jugakla berjalan carik cafe yg tersembunyik2.

mmg sangat lawa cafe2 mcm tu,bit pricey,

tp the environment sgt special.

patutlah aku tak pernah tringin nak carik cafe mcm ni,

pergi sorg2 rasa loser doh.

takde bf pun paling2 kena ade gf gak la g cafe lawa2 camni heh

kitorg borak2,and they were amazed with how much i love their language.

dorg even ajak pergi rumah dorg kalau dtg korea nanti huaaa sgt7 baik dorg ni

the one that wear the blue shirt,hyeon-ji,asal dr yeosu,

and the other one,seok-yeo asal dr wando.

dua2 from the rural area katanya,

tp tu yg mcm seronok nak explore.

haritu dah pergi seoul kan,teringin nak rasa hidup hari2 dorg yg biasa,

dekat area2 kurang bandar.

really hope that i can go to South Korea this upcoming May insyaAllah. :)

lepastu,tak cukup syarat kalau keluar kat sini tak amik gbr purikura,ala mesin gmbr tu ah.

kat mesia,tak hingin aku nak amik,rm16 buat bazir je.

sini kalau convert mmg same je harga,

tp tak rasa mahal sgt7 lah sbb da tggl sini

nampak tak betapa besar penipuan mesin ni?

mata besa,bulat.

kulit flawless.

kalau kau amik gbr semua perempuan,tak ape lagi.

bila amik gbr ade lelaki,hasilnya rasa nak sepak2.

dah mcm hape je-_-''

oh my final exams start from tomorrow.

i dont wanna whine too much this time,

org yg baca blog ni pun bosan baca aku asik mengeluh aje.

buat je lah ape yg termampu.

bak kata francisca peter,aku bertahan sekadar di pinggiran heh

and the other thing,semalam jugak main2 dgn koleksi gbr n cover sendiri.

kalau agak2 aku buat album compilation mcm ni,jual ade org nak beli tak?LOL

actually the idea is untuk nak bg hyeon-ji n seok-yeo

as kenang2an sbb dorg nak balik korea dah,

but then i think,'why not letak kat blog,tgk ape respon org'haha

VAIN,i know.yes im vain.please dont hate me.im doing this just for fun:(

so among the first person that'll receive this for free mestilah the friends and family heh

*padahal gaya mcmlah aku buat smpi 50,60 copy kan*

the list of the songs.cover songs actually,to be exact;

01.반말송 Banmal Song(Jung Yong-Hwa&Seo Joo-Hyeon 정용화&서주현)
02.기도 Pray(Sunny Hill써니힐)
03.그 여자 That Woman(Mi美)
04.그 여자 That Woman(Baek Ji-Yeong백지영)
05.나만 몰랐던 이야기 Story Only I Didn't Know(IU)
06.나쁜 남자 Bad Guy(Joo주)
07.그리워 Because I Miss You(Jung Yong-Hwa정용화)
08.노바디 Nobody-Rainstorm Remix(Wonder Girls원더걸스)
09.병원에 가다 [이별..]Going To Hospital[Break Up](Kang Min-Kyung강민경)
10.비가 오는 날엔 On Rainy Days(BEAST)
11.I'll Be Back-Ballad version(2PM)
12.전쟁이야 It's War-Ballad version(MBLAQ)
13.별처럼 Like a Star(Tae-Yeon태연&The One)feat.ZaidRadzai
14.Timeless(Kim Junsu&Jang Ri-In김준수&장리인)feat.ZaidRadzai
15.Sampai di Sini Saja,여기까지다(Malay version of 오늘 헤어졌어요 We Broke Up Today-Younha윤하 )

So,anybody want it?kekeke

Wish me luck for my finals.Keep me in your

doa,insyaAllah.

p/s:Remy Ishak hensem gila kot smlm OMG.

fan-girling over abg Remy lah skrg :D

takpe,i ade remy i sendiri hehe

inconsolable

2012-01-18T03:01:00.003+09:00

Exams,and PMS,were never compatible with each other.

i hate hormone imbalance...

emotional,that's my middle name for now.:'(

im homesick again.

Oh Allah,please hold my heart tightly so it wont fall again.

i'm declaring war with my ownself.

p/s:dah dekat setahun dah amalia.just let it go.please?

goodbye,my friend...

2012-01-14T23:47:00.002+09:00

a good friend of mine in kumamoto.

losing a friend,is never been easy.

tambah2 lagi bila tggl dlm komuniti kecik je kat kumamoto ni.

it's the first time for me to send someone back to malaysia for good.

never knew it'll be this sad.

siapa lagi nak hang out ngan aku n mamu jalan2 shinai bila pressure,

mlm2 mkn mcd,open table cerita problem?

siapa lg nk jadik background noise plg annoying bila aku karok?

siapa lg nak buat lawak sengal bila time mkn2 ke,sebab tu la dr first time kita smpi2 sini je kau dpt nama fani,sbb kau mmg funny haha

siapa nak main pool smpi bola terkeluar2 dr board kan?

siapa lagi nak kutuk2 aku punya berat(even mamu pun selalu buat,tapi kau lagi kurus)?

but,i know,ive only lost a friend,not the friendship...

ganbare fani~aku tau kau boleh,cume mgkn bkn rezeki kau lg...

doakan aku kuat jugak kat sini,

ni pun dah berapa byk kali giri2 je dgn masalah jiwa kacau.

kita jumpa lagi bila aku dah balik msia..

p/s:aku selalu prasan kuat.td aku takut nak ckp byk,

karang aku ckp,aku tersyahdu meleleh dpn org,

aku segan..

lepas ni ada berapa byk lagi org yg nak menyusul balik,

mcm manalah agaknya nak htr...:'(

A happy new year.

2012-01-09T23:14:00.005+09:00

this is a story about,a love that will remain forever,

no matter what happen.

i bet i can say this is the best 2 weeks vacation so far in my life,

but i might say the same to my next 2 weeks holiday.

instead of 1month sem break,i only have 2 weeks.

sad isn't it?

so,lets just enjoy the picture.

A mc donald's night with the family :)

lovey-dovey ;))

an ikea's dinner with the beloved friends....

sister-in-law?:)

Melaka with dearie kak eika and kak ema..

kak eika,i cant see any baby bump pun~

dont we look thinner in this pic kak eika?

i guess the tips is menyorok belakang tiang sikit,

and then lia menyorok blkg kak eika haha :D

this is my first ever tutti-fruity(did i even spell it right??)

i never really want to try them sbb nama pun dah ada fruity.*ehem,i dont like fruits

and veges ehem*but then kak ema said'ala lia pilihla topping yg bukan buah'

then i was like,really??ade je yg bukan buah?*sakai i now.but hey dont blame me,i cant live in malaysia longer then 1month and a half since 2009 ye*

so,the left one was kak eika n kak ema's,the right one,no fruit at all,was mine.

but freaking mahal,for an ice cream(okay someone corrected me on this.its not ice cream,its yogurt..but,but..it taste nothing like yogurt~its ice cream~)

lets see if im gonna buy it next time.

this one is kak ema's treat.

thank you kak ema!nanti lia dah kerja lia belanja balik kay~heee

now i notice,muka kak eika bukan menembam.

tapi mcm sembab skit,thats why you look quite different.

its okay,anything for that little iman kan?tak sabar nak tgk dia nanti~:)

the the next day,karaoke trip with dear uppa and his love.

and guess what.tak sengaja terjumpa daia!OMG!!!

i think the last time i saw her maybelah masa reunion batch kat kelab shah alam dulu,takpun hari anugerah kecemerlangan KUSESS.

lama sgt tak jumpa smpi dah lupa bila last time jumpa.

OMG,miss her sooo much!

antara besties yg susah nak jumpa,sebab dia sbnrnya tinggal n study kat brunei,

in fact,she's bruneian pun.

daia kata dia cuti n ada kat malaysia smpi bulan 1 ni.

me,psenk and ain tgh makan kat kfc then suddenly ada org lalu kat tepi ckp 'AMAL!'

then i was like 'DAIA!'

mcm jejak kasih,tgh2 org ramai kat kfc bukit tinggi tu kan?

mencapap jugaklah tgh org ramai,drama.haha.

daia,if you read this,tunggulah nanti satu hari aku nak gak p brunei p rumah kau :)

with the love of uppa's life,ain ;))

yeah,im fat i know.

no need to tell me.its okay,im enjoying my food-therapy while im in malaysia.

dont you ever dare to take the happiness from me LOL

but,even fahrin is sooooo happy to take picture with me.

gemuk?tak kisaaaahhhh*dlm hati uhuk2 kisaaahhh*

fahrin pun takde lah kurus sgt kekeke

you know whats brother-sister favorite activity?camwhore~

try brg2 kat kedai,pastu amik gbr kekeke

we're fat,but we're still awesome!

weird face though haha

menumpang kasih...

KLCC is soooo pretty..

i dont even remember,when is the last time i went to KLCC,before this time.

posing konon2 duta LV?

then pergi sunway piramid ngan uppa,n ikea's dinner again with uppa n ain.:)

by now you'll notice that i loveeeee ikea's meatballs and karipap.

nowadays,siapa je pegi ikea beli perabot?

tak cool la,pergi ikea semata2 beli karipap baru cool!haha

meet amalia hilton LOL

oh we also went to wondermilk to try their cupcakes.

hmm okayla not so bad,tp biasa2 je.takdelah omg sgt3 sedapppp,but not bad...

but seriously,can i have a house just like wondermilk restaurant???

sgt2 cozy!!im in love with the interior design~

the price,again,for me,its pricey.bukan utk makan hari2.

mungkin bila dah kempunan sgt2 baru pergi.

but for now,i dont think im gonna kempunan for their cupcakes.

rm17 for 4 cupcakes,its still pricey.baik guna rm17,beli bahan,buat kak rumah cupcake,

hah makanlah sepuas2 hati kau heh

before naik flight,i even met jasmine,classmate masa kat KUSESS dr form1 smpi form5

rasanya kan meen?

yg lawaknya,dr jauh dah nampak'eh tu mcm meen'

tp bila pandang dia,dia mcm buat tak kenal,but then bila kena mencelah depan dia

nak lalu baru dia prasan'eh amal!'

then i was like'hah meen.itulah~'

lpstu dia gelak'itulah?'haha

'itulah...dr jauh mcm kau,tapi aku pandang kau mcm tak kenal plak aku.aku takut slh org je'

because i once ask her bila dia nak hbs blajar kat medan,

suppose dia da hbs blaja skrg n sambung another 2 year kat penang skrg.

so manalah tau kot2 salah org ke kan.

'tak mgknla meen,bukan ke dia da hbs blaja'

but the she said dia kena balik medan kejap exam.

so sad,flight dia pun dah nak departure.

so takley ckp lama2.

meen,nanti ada masa aku g penang jalan kay.

the last night at home,my family n i went to buy my things,

then we went to banting uptown kejap,tak sangka terjumpa guru besar sekolah rendah dulu.

i bet he didnt even remember me.

bayangkanlah,darjah 6,im 11years old.sekarang dah 22thn*oh sooo old*

and dalam 11 thn tu how many students he need to remember kan.

n im also not a 11years old kid anymore yg hingusan,tudung senget2,baju sekolah

kedut2 main sep2 tiang or batu seremban lagi kan haha.

those were the good old days.:)

and at the uptown,there was a karaoke-on-stage session.

3lagu,rm5.so apa lagi,my abah and ibu ask me to sing.

and adik2 pun were like'kak mai,g lah tolong ganti org yg nyanyi kat atas stage skrg tu.

dia nyanyi tak sedap.bingitlah'haha

so,3 songs.semuanya siti.kesilapanku keegoaanmu,ya maulai,nirmala.

kalau suruh nyanyi tiba2 mmg takde idea.lagu siti je la yg kluar dlm otak.

tulah,sapa suruh tak dgr lagu melayu kan.dgr lagu korea je keje.

adik last ckp'kakmai,nyanyilah sampai di sini saja'

then i was like'mana pulak nak nyanyi lagu tu.lagu tu aku yg buat saje2 lah!'

yg lain2 gelak je hahaha mcm2 budak2 ni.

too bad i didnt bring my camera that night

so.....thats all about the holiday.

now im all alone,in this house.back to japan.

for new year resolution,i have a simple one.

to be stronger,braver,and healthier,inside and out.

Allah..please guide me to the right path.insyaAllah...

another 3 and a quarter year.i hope im strong enough to face it.

if my abah can do his master while working,and jaga lagi adik2 kat rumah,

urus hal rumah mcm2 lagi kerenah kitorg,

why cant i kan?i only need to take care my own self,

not like abah.if abah can do that,why cant i right?

A Lot Like Love.

2012-01-01T01:48:00.005+09:00

@taman seribu bunga,melaka.with dear kak eika n kak ema.<3

currently in Malacca.something missing,but i guess i need to learn,i can't have it all.

Happy new year everyone.May 2012 be a better year for us insyaAllah.

p/s:empty seat.

homie home!!

2011-12-27T16:34:00.001+09:00

im home!!home as if,malaysia~

i miss the humid weather of malaysia.

even only for two weeks...

so,ada siapa2 nak buat meet up?hehe

light the heart

2011-12-24T01:15:00.003+09:00

isn't this pretty???

this is my bedroom,the sliding door's curtain side.

cant help but stare at them~^^

feels like christmas right?haha.

one more thing,i love listening to bossa nova+jazz.make me feel like im in a warm and cozy cafe,dim light,nice comfortable sofa,a cup of hot coffee,and a soulmate.:)

good night everyone.

foreign students party

2011-12-23T00:28:00.011+09:00

yesterday i sing at foreign students party younha's song,Please Take Care of My Boyfriend.

unfortunately,taken video is not so good,my seniors dont really know how to use a dslr,

so sorry,guys...:(

but what i learned from this performance,you need to know your strength and weekness before singing on stage,

dont overdo yourself.

my weakness;

1.im suck at low notes

2.when im nervous,i tend to suck at high notes too :(

when i sing this song for the first time at the rehearsal,its just sooooo bad!

part tarik je tak smpi,sbb bila nervous,your breathing will go wild,and the pitch was all over the place,berterabur~

so i need to make decision,to hold onto my ego and pick another song,or to forget my ego,just lower down the song's pitch.

after all,i choose to lower down the pitch,i never done anything like that during other performance before.

but one thing is,i just wanna do well,so i think i need to do that.

Alhamdulillah,the performance turns out okay.

Not so good for my satisfaction,ive never satisfied with my live singing.

my nervousness make me sing like...urghhhhh stress2 dgr suara sendiri live.

but i guess,that means im normal kan,tak normal kot kalau tak nervous on stage.

thats why i cant become a singer,my live singing sucks heh.

no video,but this is my outfit for the party

this is my most favorite electric blue dress,electric blue looks flattering on me,

but i dont really like other shades of blue.

my seniors said she heard other people said when im up on stage,'i loveee her dress!'.

only my dress?not me?haha im just joking

i cant agree more,thats why i love this dress so much.

and there's also two beautiful Korean student that came and see me after the performance and say that they cried listen to my singing.awww thats the sweetest compliment~

they said they dont even know what song i sing,or who is the original singer of the song,

but seeing my interpretation of the song through my facial expression and and

my sad voice conveys the lyrics.

.the lyrics were originally sad though,

thank god they can understand what i sing.that means my pronunciation pretty accurate.

im happy to hear that kind of comments.

im always wanna touch people's heart through my singing,

that's is the main reason why i love to sing actually.

this is them.on my right is hyeo-jin,i forgot the other one's name.but i have their phone number!

they ask me to join them next time bila pergi karaoke.yay!i love making friends,especially with korean :)

you know what,maybe i should just transfer to korea,haha

kidding,too bad i cant.sobs3

and this is the my university's international office's staff.

they're just so kind~i never have any problem if i have something to deal with them.

and being so supportive of my singing,japanese is so sweet at words you know.

they'll always compliment you sampai satu tahap you cant differentiate,

were they just being sweet,

or they honestly mean it.

but compliments still a compliment,fake or not.

just take it,humble yourself,and smile.:)

see my height changed on the last pic?

ive took off my heels because i need to cycle back home.

beside,its freezing cold!!brrrrr

thanks everyone that come and read my blog.you should know i love you guys so much~

who am i without all your support kan?^^

p/s:2 more days.

Please Take care of My Boyfriend

2011-12-11T02:26:00.002+09:00

I hate winter.

I hate cold weather.

But i can wear my fur hat.:)

one thing i love about living in japan;you can hardly feel that you're overdressed...sebab lagi ramai org yg over dari kau :P

haven't posted any cover for quite a while.

cume sempat record karaoke je.

till then,bye.

p/s:when i can't speak,i sing it.

happy birthday to you~

2011-12-05T00:00:00.001+09:00

It's birthday season~heh.

to my two beloved brothers,happy birthday to both of you!

this little cute-chubby one,4th december.10 this year*rasanya lah.LOL umur adik sendiri tak sure*

this monster-like big one,6th december.:) 16 this year.

may you both succeed in your life.belajar rajin2 jgn main2 mcm akak korg ni.love you both so much,even aku tak pernah ckp pun kat korg kan heh.dapat kakak kayu mcm ni,sorry ok.miss you both,and others too~

hadiah?tgklah nanti kalau ade duit heh.

p/s:happy birthday to you too.*blow the candles*

unbreak my heart.

2011-11-03T02:25:00.005+09:00

right now,i just cant find any word to console my own heart.
for the 3 years and a half onward starting from next week,i can only come home at 8/9/10 pm everyday after doing all the experiments and research,everyday classes from 840/1010 am,twice/three times a month of saturday's seminar that may end at 6/7 pm,no public holiday,a month and a half spring holidays that has been shorten to a week,a month and a half summer holidays that has been shorten to 2 weeks,that means no vacation,no raya,no friends,no family,everything.

do i have any time for myself?i wanna do lots of things.i wanna talk a walk in the evening at the park,i wanna take a beautiful picture,i wanna sing,i wanna go shopping,i wanna bake myself a cake,i wanna learn how to cook properly,i wanna watch tv,i wanna have a vacation around japan,i wanna go home and see my family,my friends,i wanna laugh as much as i can,i wanna be a human,not a living robot with no friends,no heart.

but now i can only imagine myself cycling on the cold road alone,in the night,as soon as i reach home,i might even dont have any strength to prepare a meal for myself.

it's just too hard to think positively.by only think about it,i cant even breath properly.it feels like im trapped in a chamber,with no way no go out.

for 3 years and a half,3 years and a half...is not a short period.

Japan,you're being so mean to me.please unbreak my heart.you've already make me cry so much.

give me back my life....

i wanna go back to malaysia sooo badly.;(

it's over...

2011-09-25T22:31:00.001+09:00

in another 3 days,im gonna be all alone,again.....;(

spot the difference

2011-09-22T02:39:00.002+09:00

shall we play a game?:)

spot the difference.

Hello,is it me you're looking for?

2011-09-12T03:28:00.006+09:00

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes...
I can see it in your smile...
You're all I've ever wanted,
and my arms are open wide...
'Cause you know just what to say...
And you know just what to do...
And I want to tell you so much,
I love you ...

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello,
I've just got to let you know...

'Cause I wonder where you are...
And I wonder what you do...
Are you somewhere feeling lonely,
or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart...
For I haven't got a clue...
But let me start by saying,
I love you ...

Is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are...
And I wonder what you do...
Are you somewhere feeling lonely,
or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart...
For I haven't got a clue...
But let me start by saying...
I love you...

p/s:Are you somewhere feeling lonely,

or is someone loving you?

Maaf Zahir Batin.

2011-09-04T01:30:00.004+09:00

-bersama buah hati,hari raya 2011-

with a smile on my face,
you'll never know what inside my heart.

p/s:Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri,Maaf Zahir dan Batin dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki.

i dont know...

2011-08-26T06:26:00.002+09:00

i dont know why,
but i dont really have mood for the upcoming raya...
sigh...
when will this pain walk away?

a poor little cat.

2011-08-04T21:16:00.005+09:00

i do love cats.
harini,ondaway balik rumah dari jogging,
i found a cat on the roadside.
selalunya kucing sini tak peramah,nampak org je terus lari.
mungkin sebab kucing org bela je semua.
tapi kucing tadi lain.
sebab dia comot2,mcm takde org bela,
kurus,
mata pun comot2 ade taik mata.
mungkin sebab tu bila dtg dekat dgn dia,dia tak lari.
i play with her a couple of minutes,
so dia manja2 la,gesel2 kat kaki sume.
tapi sebab dah nak maghrib,
nak bukak puasa so kena balik.
then i need to say goodbye to her.

bila jalan,then toleh belakang,
still lagi nampak dia pandang dgn mata sayu.
no matter how many times i turn back,
she still looking at me.
why do i feel sad about this situation?
rasa mcm nak nangis pun ada.

mungkin sebab i feel like im having the same situation with that cat?
tak lawa,comot2,sorg2,
then when someone come to play with me,
when the time comes,
they need to left me?

mungkin....

p/s:5 hari je lagi..

tolong bersungguh2 even paper repeat berduyun2.

somebody please tell me i can do it?

솔직히 말하면,다,참 힘들다~...

heh...^^

I guess you don't know

2011-08-02T23:37:00.000+09:00

I met you...
fall in love...
and get hurt by that love
Just watching you from where i am,
I must be a fool...
When you cried,
I cried...
When you smiled,
I smiled...
Like a child, just copying whatever you do,
I must be a fool...

Even when I say I love you,
I guess you can’t hear me...
Even if I say this is love,
I guess you don’t know it...
I guess you can't see my tears pouring down from my heart...

Even if I call out your name,
I guess you can’t hear me...
Even when I say you are the only one for me,
I guess you don’t know it...
I guess I can't have this blind love,
this foolish love...

Please look behind you just once,
I’m behind you.
When you are tired from another love,
When you are hurt by another love,
Please look behind you just once...

Even when I say I love you,
I guess you can’t hear me...
Even if I say this is love,
I guess you don’t know it...
I guess you can't see my tears pouring down from my heart...

Even if I call out your name,
I guess you can’t hear me...
Even when I say you are the only one for me,
I guess you don’t know it...
My blind love,
my foolish love...

Today I call you a thousand times again...
I know you can’t hear me,
but i still call on you...

Because I love you,
So please look at me...
Because I love only you,
So please come to me...
If you come just one step closer,
I will wait for you right there...

I’m sorry,
because I only know you...
Because I can't live without you.
My stubborn love calls on only you...
But you don’t know…

p/s:'When you are tired from another love,

When you are hurt by another love,

Please look behind you just once...'

derma darah dan selamat berpuasa..

2011-07-31T21:41:00.006+09:00

hari sabtu lepas pertama kali derma darah.sikit excited heh.
sempena nak bulan Ramadhan ni ape salahnya kita buat amal kebajikan lebih...

muka org excited haha.
tapi apa yang penting,before kita boleh derma darah kan ade medical check kan.so dari situ dapat tgk,tekanan darah pun dah kurang berbanding last time buat medical check up masa bulan 4 lepas,tak ingat exactly berapa tapi rasanya dalam 140/90 mmHg,heartbeat sampai 90 per minute ape ke hal nya..yup,mmg tinggi.masa tu mmg sungguh2 stress dengan mcm2,masalah emosi,tak cukup tidur,kerja banyak masalah banyak,makan tak tentu,lepas tu berat pun taknak berat nak dekat2 overweight pulak kan.

now its not semua masalah dah takde.hidup kalau tak de masalah mungkin bukan hidup.maybe i've learn how to encounter each of them slowly?hmm

so this time tekanan darah dah kurang jadi around hmmm berapa ek?125/75 mmHg?lebih kurang la tak ingt.heartbeat pun dah kurang jadi 70++ per minute.tak ingaaatt..nurse tu tulis laju sgt.

a healthy diet really make a big different.
no oily food,fast food,sweets etc2...
jogging and exercising..
but its just sooooo hard!!!
Tuhan je yang tau macam mana susahnya.
lagi2 untuk manusia yang kat atas ni yang tak makan sayur n buah.
the only sayur yg boleh makan is mix vege,n buah pun setakat berry2 n kismis?
sadis...

if only i can eat veges n fruits i dont think it'll be as hard as this..
i certainly will eat salad for most of my meals..sob3..
im worried,mcm mana agaknya balik malaysia nanti.
makanan malaysia semuanya membimbangkan..
not that they're sooo bad,tapi diri sendiri yg tak boleh nak control nafsu makan kot.

tangan yang dah berbalut

tak amik gambar masa derma sebab datang sorg2,takde org nak amikkan gambar.sebenarnya tak sakit pun rupanya derma darah.sakitla sikit masa mula2 cucuk tu but then dah tak sedar pun tup2 dah habis amik,dok borak2 ngan nurse yang baik tu.that's one of the thing that i love about japanese people.they're so kind and friendly,tambah2 lagi bila kita tahu cakap bahasa diorg,berton2 dapat pujian.yes diorg mmg mulut manis,kita mesti akan cakap 'alah tah ye tah tidak dorg puji tu ikhlas' but hey,something nice that make you smile isn't a bad thing kan?

the counter untuk daftar.

ramai sebenarnya org yang datang derma darah ni,budak2 sekolah pun ade datang.that is so impressive.sebab tak pernah derma darah kat malaysia,kinda wonder,kalau kat malaysia pun seramai ni ke org derma darah?

org yg jaga kaunter tu sebenarnya sgt risau bila nampak foreigner masuk because they think that they need to speak in english.haha dont worry,lecture punya bahasa jepun lebih complicated dari ni,im used to it.

the card that we get after the blood donation.

perempuan boleh derma darah setiap 4 bulan sekali.
n i think im gonna do it once in 4 months mulai dari skrg.
it's a good thing right?helping other people that might need our blood to continue their life.
and it's also good for our health,for the blood circulation.
so i can't see any reason not to do it.
im happy that i know i can help other people.
maybe because im not really happy with things going on around me right now?
i dont know

when you're not happy,the best thing to do is,try to make people around you happy.:)

selamat berpuasa kepada semua umat islam baik di mana juga kita berada.
semoga Ramadhan kali ni kita dilimpahi dengan barakah dari-Nya insyaAllah..
Amin...

wont be uploading any cover during this Ramadhan.

p/s:'Miss you, miss you so much, because I miss you so much,

Everyday all by myself, calling and calling you

Want to see you, want to see you, because I want to see you so much

Now it’s like I have this habit, keep calling out your name

It’s the same today...'

punching bag

2011-07-25T23:49:00.001+09:00

seriously need a punching bag right now.siapa rela?

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

그럴 겁니다… 잊을 겁니다…

2011-07-25T00:25:00.002+09:00

I will forget you...
Starting today...
I don’t know you...
I have never seen you.
We never even walked pass eachother.
I’m okay...
I forgot everything...
I’m happy with my busy life...
I’ve met a great person too...

Love is always like this...
It fades away after some time...
Can’t even remember it...

When love goes away...
another love comes again...
It definitely will...
Even if it hurts now...
it will heal a little later...
It will forget...
I will too...

It’s not difficult...
I will forget everything after today...
I’m just getting used to my changed life...

Love is always like this...
It fades away after some time...
Can’t even remember it...

I will erase everything...
I definitely will...

When love goes away...
another love comes again...
It definitely will...
Even if tears fall now...
I will smile a little later...
I will forget you...
Just like a wound heals...
I will...
I will...
I will forget you...

p/s:i will forget you...

down

2011-07-24T00:07:00.001+09:00

everything's going down,down,down......

no need to tell me.

2011-07-20T23:04:00.007+09:00

i have no intention on bragging myself.
in fact,if you think im bragging myself right now,
its up to you.
your brain,your thought.
kalau masa sekolah rendah selalu top3,
sekolah menengah mungkin kadang2 masuk top10
kadang2 terkeluar,
AAJ?well hmm nak kata makin teruk tu tak tapi tak stabil.
but now,
to be rank as 53rd place daripada 56 org,
its just,
disappointing me....
well at least there are 3 japanese people below me.
that hardly score even though they learn all this stuff in their own language.

but stil....
sebenarnya,baik tak payah tau.
dari awal dah tau nak jd top12 so that dapat priority untuk pilih lab mana nak masuk,
itu adelah mustahil.

mungkin sepatutnya tak payah amik result tu hari ni.

so,in your eyes,
do i still look like im bragging myself?

-_-"

p/s:3 more weeks to go.

Because I Miss You

2011-07-18T15:28:00.004+09:00

Always under exactly the same sky,
always exactly the same day
Other than you're not being here,
there’s nothing different at all
I just want to smile,
want to forget everything
Just like absolutely nothing has happened,
smiling to live my days

Miss you,miss you so much,
because I miss you so much...
Everyday all by myself,
calling and calling you...
Want to see you,want to see you,
because I want to see you so much...
Now it’s like I have this habit,
keep calling out your name...
It’s the same today

I thought I’d let go,
not leaving anything behind
No, no, now I still can’t let you go
Miss you, miss you so much,
because I miss you so much...
Everyday all by myself,
calling and calling you...

Want to see you,want to see you,
because I want to see you so much...
Now it’s like I have this habit,
keep calling out your name...
It’s the same today

Everyday, everyday,
it feels like I’m gonna die...
what should I do?

Love you, love you,
I love you...
I hadn’t even spoken the words,
I just let you go
Sorry, sorry,
do you hear my words?
My late confession,
can you hear it?
I love you...

p/s:Other than you're not being here,

there’s nothing different at all...

annoying

2011-07-18T09:27:00.004+09:00

benda yang paling annoying
bila berat sampai satu tahap dah tak reti2 nak turun..!!!!
pfffftttt rasa nak mengamuk pun ada.
panas2 ni buat rasa semua benda annoying,
even tgk diri sendiri dalam cermin pun annoying grrrrrrr....
rasa nak tumbuk org pun ada!

please lah cepat sikit habis exam ni!
arghhhhhh

p/s:ntahlah,mungkin sindrom hormon tak stabil grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

The Climb

2011-07-17T21:28:00.002+09:00

'Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side,
It's the climb...'

우리 다시 만나요..

2011-07-12T21:59:00.002+09:00

I must've been wrong
I must've believed that you were someone who passes by
I didn't realize that it was this painful
I thought it would just sting and go away quickly
I thought love was just a common thing

But strangely, as the days pass by
As I quickly try to meet other people
You become more focused in my life
You stay inside my head
Did I love you this much?

How are you? Are you like me?
Is your heart hurting like mine?
We just can't.. We just can't seperate
Let's meet again.. We should meet again
Like before...

As I remember the past
As I count the precious memories
There was no one like you
You were so good to me
I can see you better from afar...

How are you? Are you like me?
Is your heart hurting like mine?
We just can't.. We just can't seperate
Let's meet again.. We should meet again
Like before...

I'll go there first and wait for you
At the place where we first met..

Perhaps you aren't coming back because you don't know how I feel
Maybe it's a good thing that we've tried breaking up
Maybe it's a good thing that I've tried living without you
Now I realize how much I want you..
Now I.. Now I love you...
More than you love me..

p/s:sigh....

entahlah

2011-07-11T02:03:00.003+09:00

esok paper first.

organic chemistry.

entahlah.

senang ckp,sebenarnya tak paham ape pun ape yang belajar sampai skrg.

mungkin bukan untuk organic chem je,subjek lain pun byk yg tak paham.

nak tawakal pun,

berbanding tawakal,

mungkin harus pasrah.

entahlah.

betul-betul entah.

p/s:damnlah!!!!binatang paling membencikan bila summer da start2 muncul!besa pulak tu lipas rumah ni.bongoklaaaaa....haih.nak tido pun tak tenang

the battle

2011-07-07T01:41:00.002+09:00

11/7 organic chemistry final exam
14/7 repeat paper:environmental hygiene lab test
15/7 microbiology final exam
19/7 radioactive lab test
22/7 radioactive lab report deadline
25/7 drug and therapy test
27/7 pharmacognosy final exam
1/8 pharmaceutics final exam
2/8 radiochemistry final exam
3/8 health and pharmaceutical final exam
4/8 english for medical final exam

and ade lagi 4 paper final yg tatau bila lagi,dan jugak mungkin paper exam akan bertambah tgh2 tu disebabkan tak pass so kena amik repeat exam

the battle hasn't even started,but the confidence level won't go up.
the truth is,im kinda scared.
too many things to do.
one month of final exam is certainly not fun!hmm

please Allah,make everything easier for me,and whenever i fail on something,don't let me disappointed and sad.

always remind me that if i fail,i just need to try it again until i succeed.kan?

Amin.

p/s:good luck for your final exam too.im praying for your success from far away...

못해

2011-06-26T01:57:00.004+09:00

Even if I remove my makeup, I can't do it without tears anymore

Even if the makeup flows down, I'm used to that

Even if I get a call, I can't look at it

Even if I close my eyes, I can't think of anything except your face

I can't even eat because I might think of you

Because I might not be able to digest after you left

Even today I live with tears

I can't listen to the music because it might be a story of you and me

Because they might be like us, I can't do anything

I can't live alone without you

Now I even pick up the phone thinking it might be you

Even though I know it's not you, I wish it was you

Please stop, you are all I have

What am I going to do, I can't do anything alone

I can't even eat because I might think of you

Because I might not be able to digest after you left

Even today I live with tears

I can't listen to the music because it might be a story of you and me

Because they might be like us, I can't do anything

I can't live alone without you

I can't, I can't, I need your love

What's the point of living alone, I'm your girl

I can't do anything without you, I know only you

I can't do anything without you

I can't even die because you might return

I can't do anything without you, I can't live alone without you

p/s:i've running to far away.

i dont even know where i am right now,

or why am i standing here.

i'm running away from everyone,

from everything.

flu

2011-06-22T00:34:00.003+09:00

some say,it will only hurt for a while,
just like a momentary flu.

so when will this flu heal?

p/s:too much dose of slow songs,is harmful to heart.

congratulation!

2011-06-19T00:23:00.005+09:00

sometimes,some people just don't have any common sense.

when a girl just fell down,and then she tried her best to stand up again.

joke around and laugh a bit because of her failure

and of course,because she's a girl.

she might cry,

complaining this and that.

but she's trying alone to stand up,

without even asking anyone to help her.

and towards someone like that,

not even offers any help,

you stand around her,

and make fun of her,

laugh at her,

saying how stupid she is,

saying that she just can't never stand up again.

she's not asking anyone to feel sorry for her,

but if you're not gonna give any help,

just shut up,and walk away.

congratulation!*clap clap clap*

you really know how to pour salt on someone's wound!

keep on trolling and have fun!

to-do-list

2011-06-14T23:30:00.008+09:00

things to do until the beginning of August

1.lab

2.lab report

3.lab exams

4.classes

5.mock pharmacy rehearsal

6.mock pharmacy test

7.drug therapy exam

8.lab again

9.along with final exams,11 papers(and jadual pun tak keluar2,baru tau 3 paper je bila)

10.and lab report

11.lab exam lagi

12.repeat paper for the final exam(mesti kena punya)

13.this is quite important.TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT!(im fat,like really fat compared to these skinny japanese girls arghhh sakit hati,dorg makan mcm ape je byk jugak jugak.i think im a freak now.with the ipod app i wrote down whatever ive eat,all the exercises and do the calorie counting strictly,kalau boleh hari2 nak bawah 1000kcal,tp mmg tipu r kan bley hari2 mcm tu)

14.to practice the guitar(not so important,i can skip this)

you know.sometimes i do hate my life!

kenapa mid term habis 25hb 6 tapi final start 11 hb 7?

kenapa masa final nak kena ade lab n kelas jugak,n lab report,n lab exam?

kenapa ada lab report yg nak kena handwitten but instead of lab report sahaja,kena pulak tulis pasal 35 jenis herba punya details?35 okay,bukan 10 ke.like WHAAAATTTT????!!!

padahal ade exam kot masa tu.

tak boleh ke jadik lebih considerable?duhh-_-"

kenapa paper english nak kena translate dari english pergi japanese?

i dont wanna be a translator.

and i dont even know,if my mark sucks,is that because my english,or my japanese?

perhaps both?

yeah,mmg english mmg semakin tahi dah kalau tak guna,lepastu asik nak kena translate je.

kalau suruh translate pergi bm pun belum tentu boleh buat.

we're not trained to be a translator,and i seriously dont have that skill.

and for some people yg suka kata student kat oversea suka dok perabih duit kerajaan,try meh datang sini tgk how stress you can be,especially if its not an english-speaking country.well,kalau kena campak kat UK sekali pun belum tentu lagi aku cemerlang kan.

its just,stressful.i really wanna learn n study something dalam bahasa ibunda that is malay bukan english pun.how lucky these japanese are that they can learn every single thing in their own language.in fact org dtg negara dia kena belajar bahasa dia.

and its actually reallly stressful.people might say im lucky because i know about 3.2 language;malay,english,japanese,and the other 0.2 might be my korean.tapiiii...bukannya completely fluent pun english and japanese tu.

i just hate the fact that i cant fully understand what the lecturers,the books,the other people said 100%.yup kalau blaja bm pun belum tentu 100% but atleast,when you read it,lagi senang nak melekat kat otak compared to foreign language.

it's soo tiring bila baca buku,other than you memorize the content.you need to also memorize the sentence,and even for japanese lang.u need to memorize the kanji(go google it if you dont know what it is).kalau satu nama disease nak ada sampai 8ketul kanji,yep,i'll end up memorize onle half of it,or maybe semuanya hafal,tapi susunan tunggang langgang.

stress.utk mock pharmacy,kena berckp dgn patient as if you're really a pharmacist.the language barrier really freak me out.memanglah kalau takat borak2 ngan kawan tu boleh,tapi bukan semuanya paham pun.and what if i miss the important part that the patient trying to say to me,what if i cant understand what he/she said?what if she cant understand what im trying to say?what if i cant read the prescription?

everytime when i need to be in group for a presentation or whatever it is,i feel like im suck a burdened for the others.i cant really present fluently in japanese,unless its just reading the text,itupun tersangkut2.

i hate being a burdened to another person.

i hate my stupid,learnt-but-forget look.

i hate it when what achieve doesnt meet my expectation,or other people expectation.

sometime,i really feel stupid.

can i really pass the 6th year entrance exam?can i really be a good pharmacist in the future

sedangkan sekarang pun tiap kali belajar,lepas exam,lupa,dahlah tu,blajar pun bukan sumenye ingat.

im,actually,really,afraid of what will i need to go through in the future.fikir je pun dah penat.you will say'stop complaining and do your work!'

i know,complaining doesnt make anything better,but at least give me some space to express what i feel.

sometime,i do regret,why did i choose to study pharmacy,kat jepun lagi.because it scholarship?yes.i dont wanna use my parents money since the other 5 siblings are still in school.to look cool?maybe.because i love medic?definitely not,in fact i feel like fainting tgk darah byk2 or surgery ke.because i hate physic?this is another yes.i dont think my neurons can digest all the physic theories.i really suck at physic.

tapi, its the way that ive chose.i know,i need to accept that.usaha,doa,tawakal..but because im just a normal human being,yang bukannya maksum.i do have thousands of weakness.antaranya 1.i complained,2.i do feel alone,i need someone to talk with,3.i do feel tired.banyak lagi takkan nak list semua kang sampai esok tak habis tulis.

i might look confident,but im not.

i might look like i need no shoulder,but im not.

the confidence level goes up...and down..up and down...

i even envy my friends that study in Msia,semua sibuk mengejar dekan,while me,nak pass pun nyawa2 ikan.60 marks to pass isnt a joke.

i do feel tired on this long journey.a lot more to go.can i rest for a bit?can someone please lend me your shoulder so that i can lean on you for a while?

complaining,thats all you can do.

enough,amalia.

back to your work.

p/s:힘들어...

If you see him...

2011-06-12T14:42:00.001+09:00

If you see him
Tell him I wish him well
How am I doing?
Well, sometimes is hard to tell
I still miss him more than ever
But please dont say a word
If you see him
If you see him

If you see her
Tell her I'm doing fine
And if you want to
Say that I think of her from time to time
Ask her if she ever wonders
Where we both went wrong
If you see her
If you see her

I still want her
I still need him so
I dont know why we let each other go

If you see her
Tell her the lights still on for her
Nothing's changed
Deep down the fire still burns for him

And even if it takes forever say I'll still be here
If you see him
If you see her
If you see him
If you see her

p/s:I dont know why we let each other go

Just A Nice Guy

2011-06-08T00:09:00.000+09:00

p/s:exactly,girls like jerks.

On Rainy days,I'm Always...

2011-06-05T21:47:00.005+09:00

On Rainy Days

When the world turns dark
And the rain quietly falls
Everything is still

Even today, without a doubt
I can’t get out of it
I can’t get out from the thoughts of you

Now
I know that it’s the end
I know that it’s all just foolishness
Now I know that it’s not true
I am just disappointed in myself for
Not being able to get a hold of you because of that pride

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

Now
I erased all of you
I emptied out all of you
But when the rain falls again
All the memories of you I hid with effort
It all comes back, it must be looking for you

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

To you,Now there is no path for me to return
But looking at your happy face
I will still try to laugh since I was the one
Without the strength to stop you

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

ALWAYS

I can't even begin to count

All the thoughts I have of you

The light shining in my room quietly searches

For the traces you left behind

Now everything

In this world seems to lose its color

Nothing is certain

But when I'm with you, I want to believe

With just your smile

I felt like I could see tomorrow

If someone was ever hurt

You wouldn't hesitate

To race to their side, I know it

The warmth of your hand, touching my shoulder

I still can't forget it

In the endlessly flowing crowd

We held our breaths and drew close

Love is like the seasons

That continue to change and that's okay

I don't know what tomorrow brings

But when I'm with you, I want to believe

"Goodbye," I wonder if you'll even forget

That night when we saw eternity

Will I be able to smile with you always?

Somewhere, someday, I'll lose you

But until then we'll smile

Even if our days together

Were all a mistake

I don't care anymore, please...

"Goodbye," I wonder if you'll even forget

That night when we saw eternity

Will I be able to smile with you always?

Until that place, that day where I lose you

With just your smile

I felt like I could see tomorrow

If someone was ever hurt

You wouldn't hesitate

To race to their side, I know...

p/s:orang kata,kalau seseorang muncul dalam mimpi kita,
maknanya dia rindukan kita.
i'll prove it wrong.

Hatiku Milikmu

2011-06-01T21:53:00.002+09:00

Pernahkah engkau hargai
cintaku yang sejati
pernahkah engkau mengerti
akan diriku ini

Betapa hebatnya cintamu
memberiku sejuta pilu
betapa agungnya asmaramu
membuatku terpaku

Disisimu aku terdiam seribu bahasa
dihatiku bergetar sejuta rasa
namun sukar untuk aku meluahkan
kucinta padamu

Nafasku terhenti bila melihat dirimu
terasa batas degupan jantungku
mungkinkah hatimu milikku jua
kusayang padamu

Kan kuabadikan dikau
suatu kenangan yang manis
yang tak mungkin aku lupa
untuk selamanya

Kan kucoretkan kenanganmu
dalam sanubariku ini
dapat jadi yang terindah
di dalam hidupku ini

Disisimu aku terdiam seribu bahasa
dihatiku bergetar sejuta rasa
namun sukar untuk aku meluahkan
kucinta padamu

Nafasku terhenti bila melihat dirimu
terasa batas degupan jantungku
mungkinkah hatimu milikku jua
kusayang padamu

Bagai bahtera yang dilanda badai
Gelora cintamu
Mengoncang jiwaku
Berombak mencari
Daratan yang damai
Ohhh cintaku

Disisimu aku terdiam seribu bahasa
dihatiku bergetar sejuta rasa
namun sukar untuk aku meluahkan
kucinta padamu

Nafasku terhenti bila melihat dirimu
terasa batas degupan jantungku ini
mungkinkah hatimu milikku jua
kusayang padamu

Aku coretkan kenanganmu
dalam sanubariku ini
agar jadi yang terindah
dalam hidupku ini

p/s:sepantas cahaya.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

2011-05-31T02:42:00.004+09:00

Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Mengasihani.

1.Bukankah Kami telah melapangkan untukmu dadamu?,

2.Dan Kami telah menghilangkan dari padamu bebanmu,

3.yang memberatkan punggungmu?

4.Dan Kami tinggikan bagimu sebutan (nama)mu.

5.Kerana sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan itu ada kemudahan,

6.sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.

7.Maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain,

8.dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap.

Ya Allah...
Seandainya telah Engkau catatkan...
Dia milikku tercipta buatku...
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku...
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan antara kami...
Agar kemesraan itu abadi...

Ya Allah...
Ya Tuhanku yang Maha Mengasihani...
Seringkanlah kami melayari hidup ini...
Ketepian yang sejahtera dan abadi...
Maka jodohkanlah kami...

Tetapi Ya Allah...
Seandainya telah Engkau takdirkan
Dia bukan milikku...
Bawalah dia jauh daripada pandanganku...
Luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku...
Dan periharalah aku dari kekecewaan...

Ya Allah ya Tuhanku yang Maha Mengerti...
Berikanlah aku kekuatan...
Menolak bayangannya jauh ke dada langit...
Hilang bersama senja yang merah...
Agarku sentiasa tenang...
Walaupun tanpa bersama dengannya...

Ya Allah yang tercinta...
Pasrahkanlah aku dengan takdir-Mu...

Sesungguhnya apa yang telah Engkau takdirkan
Adalah yang terbaik untukku...
Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui...
Segala yang terbaik buat hamba-Mu ini...

Ya Allah...
Cukuplah Engkau sahaja yang menjadi pemeliharaku...
Di dunia dan akhirat...
Dengarkanlah rintihan daripada hamba-Mu yang daif ini...
Jangan Engkau biarkan aku sendirian...
Di dunia ini mahupun di akhirat...
Menjuruskan aku ke arah kamaksiatan dan kemungkaran...
Maka kurniakanlah aku seorang pasangan yang beriman...
Agar aku dan dia sama-sama dapat membina kesejahteraan hidup...
Ke jalan yang Engkau redhai...
Dan kurniakanlah kepadaku keturunan yang soleh dan solehah...

Ya Allah...
Berikanlah kami kebahagiaan di dunia dan akhirat...
Dan periharalah kami dari azab api Neraka...

Amin...amin...Ya rabbal 'aalamin.

p/s:dan sekiranya telah tiba masaku untuk memulangkan kembali cahaya dan gembira yang telah Kau pinjamkan sementara waktu untukku,Kau ikhlaskanlah hati ini,Ya Allah.

smoking

2011-05-23T01:43:00.001+09:00

i try to quit smoking.

to stop or not,both,killing me softly....

p/s:not literally

비가 오는 날엔

2011-05-22T16:42:00.002+09:00

When the world turns dark
And the rain quietly falls
Everything is still

Even today, without a doubt
I can’t get out of it
I can’t get out from the thoughts of you

Now
I know that it’s the end
I know that it’s all just foolishness
Now I know that it’s not true

I am just disappointed in myself for
Not being able to get a hold of you because of that pride

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night

When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

I must be drunk, I think I need to stop drinking
Since the rain is falling, I think I might fall as well
Well this doesn’t mean that I miss you, no it doesn’t mean that
It just means that the time we had together was a bit sharp
When it’s the type of day that you really liked
I keep opening the raw memories of you
Making the excuse that it’s all memories, I take a step forward
I don’t even make the effort to escape

Now
I erased all of you
I emptied out all of you
But when the rain falls again

All the memories of you I hid with effort
It all comes back, it must be looking for you

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

To you..Now there is no path for me to return
But looking at your happy face
I will still try to laugh since I was the one
Without the strength to stop you....

On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

What can I do about something that already ended?
I’m just regretting after like the stupid fool I am
Rain always falls so it will repeat again
When it stops, that’s when I will stop as well

Rain always falls so it will repeat again
When it stops, that’s when I will stop as well....

p/s:"What can I do about something that already ended?"

난 그 사람이 아프다.

2011-05-20T01:42:00.003+09:00

지금 생각해도 가슴 떨려
수줍게 넌 내게 고백했지
내리는 벚꽃 지나 겨울이 올 때까지
언제나 너와 같이 있고 싶어

아마
비 오던 여름날 밤이었을거야
추워 입술이 파랗게 질린 나 그리고 그대

내 손을 잡으며 입술을 맞추고
떨리던 나를 꼭 안아주던 그대
이제와 솔직히 입맞춤보다 더
떨리던 나를 안아주던
그대의 품이 더 좋았어

내가 어떻게 해야 그댈 잊을 수 있을까
우리 헤어지게 된 날부터
내가 여기 살았었고
그대가 내게 살았었던 날들

나 솔직히 무섭다
그대 없는 생활 어떻게 버틸지
함께한 시간이 많아서 였을까
생각할수록 자꾸만 미안했던 일이 떠올라

나 솔직히 무섭다
어제처럼 그대 있을 것만 같은데
하루에도 몇 번 그대 닮은 뒷모습에
가슴 주저앉는 이런 나를 어떻게 해야 하니

그댄 다 잊었겠지
내 귓가를 속삭이면서 사랑한다던 고백
그댄 알고 있을까
내가 얼마나 사랑했는지
또 얼마를 그리워해야 그댈 잊을 수 있을지

난 그대가 아프다
언제나 말없이 환히 웃던 모습
못난 내 성격에 너무도 착했던
그대를 만난 건
정말이지 행운 이었다 생각해

난 그대가 아프다
여리고 순해서 눈물도 많았었지
이렇게 힘든데
이별을 말한 내가 이 정돈데
그대는 지금 얼마나 아플지

난 그대가 아프다
난 그 사람이 미안해
난 난 그 사람이 아프다

p/s:이젠 어떡하죠?

슬픔보다 더 슬픈 이야기

2011-05-17T01:15:00.004+09:00

i've try so hard to please you,my heart...

i've tried everything.

why won't you smile sincerely?

why can't you laugh happily?

i'm begging you..please understand me.

you can have any other things..but not this one,at least not this time...

i'll try to give you everything...

but this one ain't for you...

at least not for now...

how much longer you going to torture my soul,my mind?

please my heart,listen to my words....

how should i explain to you,so that you will believe.

it's not there anymore...

hole was punched in my heart.

p/s:i'm not a superwoman.

Trip to Seoul(24th April~5th May 2011)

2011-05-15T05:16:00.013+09:00

setelah 'dipaksa' byk kali oleh kak ema n kak eika ^^,maka saya mengupload gbr korea haritu..enjoy...this gonna be a long entry with lots of pics heh

she's my beloved friend,mahzaton aqma namenye...die belajar dekat inha university(kan??),amik apply chemistry(kan??:))

hari pertama sampai2 je die bawak makan lotteria(mcm kedai fastfood).ini muka org dah sebulan tak makan burger

hari kedua

budak ni masuk train je die hayun

maka sampai ke ittaewon

tgk masjid..besaaa gila masjid,berbanding dgn yg ada kat jepun ni haa...secoit je

lepas tu pergi myeondeong menemankan aqem mencari pujaan hati hahaha..malangnya hujan so tak dapat nak tgk suasana myeondong yg sebenar,dok melepak dalam dunkin doughnut je

juga batak kerana jepun punya pastry2 mostly tak boleh makan sebab guna lemak haiwan,tp korea katanya mmg guna lemak sayuran.

dan ini model goguma punya ice blended..sila salahkan goguma couple dalam we got married(seo-hyeon&yong-hwa) jadi saya terpengaruh utk try...nasib baik sedap...goguma panggil ape ek dalam bi?sweet potato?

lepastu dekat building mana tah,kat myeondeong jugak,mcm ade tourist centre..boleh pakai hanbok free,tapi kejap je lah boleh pakai..oh budak ni sungguh la over excited!*nanti kalau suatu hari nanti kahwin,mesti nak amik gbr kahwin pakai hanbok siap tepek kertas bulat merah kat pipi hahaha*

lepastu jalan2...makan2..ini kimbab,nasi yg diroll dengan seaweed.n tepi tu ada mcm sambal sotong.bila masuk mulut punyalah yakin sotong tu konon2 panas,satgi sejuk mcm bru klua fridge..manelah kite tau kan..kalau sambal sotong mesia mesti panas hehe...tapi sedap2..

masuk cerita hari ketiga dimulai dgn makan2 eheh*nasib baik cuma duduk korea seminggu,kalau bertahun2 tatau jadi ape dah badan ni ha...tgh hari je makan nasik dua mangkuk die,sebab boleh tambah2 free...pastu lauk plak sedap...harga boleh tahan la.berbanding jepun.*

siap sedia!entry untuk harini punyalah panjang macam tak habis2 je type haih...

oleh sebab kedai ni si aqem selalu dtg lepas2 kelas ke,pastu makcik n pakcik kedai tu prasan kitorg mcm pakai meriah semacam haritu,dengan dress merah pakai siang2 plak kan,pastu makcik pakcik tu pun tanya kat die

"masing2 pakai lawa2 mcm princess ni nak pergi mana?"

awww...hahaha...suka lah tu kan kena puji eheh...eh haruslah kan?lebih baik kena puji drpd kena pandang mcm patung pameran,atas bawah atas bawah,or kena pandang mcm kite ni alien...dorg mmg mcm tu...sebab kita pakai tudung la kan...

maka hari ni berjalan2 sekitar gyeongbokgung(gyeongbok palace).tgk jelah gbr ek...:)

saya lahir tahun kuda(1990)~^^

aqem lahir tahun ular(1989)~^^

lepastu kitorg jalan2 area luar gyeongbok gung,ada macam dataran lepastu ada muzium king sejong..king sejong..die ni antara king terfeymes korea sebab die punya kepandaian,n keprihatinan die kat rakyat jelata.die jugak yg cipta tulisan korea sekarang(hangul),kalau dulu dorg guna chinese character(hanja)

dapat pakai baju king sejong..hihi

yang warna purple ni saya yang buat*sekarang tutup mata pun boleh lipat benda ni^^*

tak ingt kenapa ade section origami crane ni kat dalam muzium ni..tapi org korea punya kepercayaan,kalau kita lipat 1000 ekor crane ni,hajat kita akan dimakbulkan.so before dorg lipat2 crane ni,dorg tulis ape2 wish kat kertas tu,then lipat.kite takyah la percaya kan,sajelah suka2 lipat crane tu...lawa.

pura2 main gayageum(rasanya lah,tak ingt sgt nama benda ni ape)

juga konon2 bersemayam muahahaha

lepas tu pergi jalan2 sekitar Cheonggyecheon ataupun Cheonggye Stream(susah btul nak ingt nama sungai ni).sungai ni before ni kotor,tapi korean government buat satu project,Cheonggyecheon Restoration Project namanya..untuk bersihkan sungai ni...ala2 sungai gombak mesia la..tapi ni lagi bersih kot..air jernih gila.siap ada mcm air terjun lagi..

lihat muka budak sakai posing.:|

siap semangat tiru patung belakang posing ahah

riben kaler2 sangatla menarik n kreatif...

lepas tu berangkat pulak pergi namsan tower...kan dah cakap hari ni sangat gigih berjalan sampai 3,4 tempat

tapi tengah2 jalan saya terserempak dgn chenta hati saya,SONG SEUNG-HEON!!!!awwww~*ye sakai,tau tu*

tak ke macho gila dia??haha...kalau tak kenal siapa dia,sila tak payah kenal,sebab ini chenta hati saya sorg je tamau kongsi2 :P

ok2....moh ler bergerak p namsan tower..

sebelum nak sampai ke puncak,adoilah,jenuh mendaki bukit..

dan ini cubaan untuk mengambil gbr bersama namsan tower.tatau berapa byk kali cubaan

dengan bear2 yg comel...ade muzium bear kat sini tapi tak masuk la..malas nak bayar fees.dapat sekor bear sebesar ni oh sungguhlaaaaaa sronot~

*penat woih type part hari ni tak habis2*

ni pulak gbr segala mcm padlock yg dorg sangkut kat area sekitar2 namsan tower..biasanya couple2 tu dorg percaya konon2 kalau lock kat sini,kekal smpi akhir nyawa lah kononnye kaaaannn...tapi takdela terhad kat couple je,sape2 dtg namsan tu bley buat.tapi tak gntg pun haritu,malas bazir duit beli padlock,baik beli waffle ke kan aqem kan?hihi

lagi gbr namsan tower

*yay skit lagi,skit lagi dah nak hbs dah hari ni*

lepastu balik rumah,p karok plak ngan aqem n kak nad..heaven gila karok kat korea..dahla murah sebab kira per bilik,kalau jepun kira per person sungguhlaaaaaa mahal...lepastu byk lagu korea yg boleh nyanyi,kalau karok kat jepun,dahla tak kenal lagu jepun sgt,pastu pilihan lagu korea pun tak byk la kan...

bilik karok ni siap ade mic stand bahahaha over...

padahal sebenarnya sakit kepala tu,dah merayu2 kat kak nad suh bawakkan panadol hehe.tahan je la kan,tapi masa karok tu dah kurangla sakit kepala berkat panadol kak nad^^

muka tahan sakit kepala or muka feeling nyanyi lagu sedih,tak sure mana satu.hehe

okay~~~~habis dah hari ni punya ceritaaa........

next day....pergi china town dekat incheon semata2 nak makan jajangmyeon sedap n halal...jajangmyeon sebenarnya asal dr china,atau dalam bi,black bean paste noddles..before ni pernah makan jajangmyeon kat Mid Valley punya food court,n rasa die mcm pelik jugakla kan,so cuak gak nak try..tapi yg ni sedap woooo..lain gila kot ngan yg makan kat Mid tu punya rasa...

ini lah kak nad yg comel lote n lemah lembut tu~^^

n sila perhatikan kuah die btul2...

nampak tak sayur mayur??*si anti sayur-sayuran punyalah freak out~*OMG...ade mcm timun koooottt~mula2 mcm hesitate gilaaaa nak makan ke tak nak makan ke tak...selalu kalau ada timun tu,rasa timun tu punyalah melekat smpi bley buat rasa nak terkeluar isi perut....nasib baiklaaaa yg ni rasa timun tu takde lgsg effect kesedapan jajangmyeon tu..bley je ignore n asing2 kan die

lepastu berangkat nak p 63 building..

63 building ni feymes kat dalam cerita my girl,dorg selalu shooting situ..tapi oh takde pape punnn sebenarnya...adela,macam art museum,ade aquaria mcm tu,pastu wax museum kot..tapi sume kena bayar mahal la kan nak masuk..maka jadinya 63 building bosan n takde pe yg menarik...takpe cukupkan syarat je dah pernah pergi hehe

yg penting terjumpa lagi chenta hati OMG!!!!!!HENSEM!!!!

kalau tak silap dia ade nak buat musical kot kat situ tapi bukan masa kitorg pergi tu la..wuuuuu nak jumpa song seung-heon~T_T

ok2..dah 63 building takde pe2,dok berjalan plak p Han Gang ataupun Han River..ni pun antara favorite spot dalam drama..tak paham btul dorg ni....macam Han Gang je yg ada kat korea tu..tapi takpela kan..mmg lawa pun..kalau malam maybe lagi lawa...

ada Hi-Seoul festival nak buat kat situ

inilah 63 building yg dari dekat tatau mcm mana nak amik gbr...dah jauh barulah bley amik...

lepastu kak nad dah balik da...kitorg gerak g myeondeong balik...haaa..masa awal2 tak dpt nak tgk myeondong punya meriah mcm mana sebab hujan..kali ni dapat la...

lepas tu aqem bawak p makan kat restoran nama JAWS..ni lah satu2nya jaws yg tak berbahaya n sedap haha

deokbeokki

oden

budak sakai v(^_^)

ni lah myeondeong malam2..meriah mcm jalan TAR...seghonok...hehe

next!hehe...

hari seterusnya namdaemun!!

dimulakan dgn lunch dua mangkuk nasik bahahaha..tatau nama lauk ni ape,tak ingt dah,tapi yg penting sgt amazed sbb rasa die saling tak tumpah mcm rasa ikan masak asam pedas...tak tipuu...sedap2!

namdaemun ni mmglaaa syurga brooch2,gelang2,segala mcm accessories laa sng cerita..makcik2 sini pun banyak yg boleh ckp bahasa melayu/indonesia sikit2 jela..takat harga ke ape ke...takpun boleh ckp jepun..

dapatlah membelikan kaum keluarga sahabat handai souvenir kan,,,raya namti family boleh dok boria pakai brooch korea heee...

pastu balik....tak larat dah...hari2 kluar kaki dah nak tercabut...

esoknya plak last day berjalan...

dongdaemun..sini plak spot baju2...

ternampak hyun bin jadi model kedai aritaum,facial product la rasanya..hyun-bin wassyeong!hyun-bin wassyeong!^^..korea ni pelik,kedai makeup2 biasanya lelaki yg jadi model....

ini bukan model.

hari shopping mmg tak byk gbr..fokus membeli je haha..

lepastu jumpa aqem bawak p jumpa kak ruhil pulak~sronok betul jalan2 jumpa ramai org...kawan biar ramai org kata kan...^^

kami

piza.:)

the last day~sebab flight pkol 930 pagi..so kena gerak dr rumah dlm pkol 530 pagi....mmg tak tdo la kan...terima kasih byk2 kat aqem yg masakkan sarapan even maggi je pun,terharu sob3...n even makanla se simple mana pun,kalau ade kawan lagi bermakna kan?

tgh tunggu train nak g airport..aqem,aku tatau asal muka aku masa ni ala2 posing park bom weyh!kan3?tak sengajaaa....haha

ngan aqem kat airport wuuuu~

trima kasih banyak3 kat aqem selama seminggu aku tinggal rumah kau weyh...sorry la sebab mcm kesian kau dengan kelas sume tapi still kena bawak aku jalan2...kesian kau penat...thank you3..nanti kalau andai kata kau dtg jepun,jangan lupa gtau aku tau...rindu kau mmmuuuaaahhh~sedey jugak balik jepun dah makan sorg2 takde org teman makan n borak2...:( ganbatte ne aqem!fighting! hehe

over all,this trip drpd 5 bintang,bley dpt 4 bintang...

the only thing yg kenapa kurang 1 bintang tu,sebab mungkin korean ni orang die kasar sikit.dah terbiasa kalau kat jepun,even terlanggar sikit pun,org sebok2 mintak maaf,kalau kat korea,maaflah,diorg lagi langgar korg ade kot..n macam yg dah di inform tadi...dorg suka pandang org,especially yg 'pelik2' mcm kita2 ni atas awah atas bawah,kalau pandang dr jauh takpe,ni dok depan kita,pandang kita mcmlah kita patung pameran,habis tu kita nak buat muka ape kan?sengih kat dia?heh..tapi ade je yg baik2 hati,tegur2 kita baik2..spjg kitorg jalan2 ni,rasanya ade dekat 3,4 org jugak yg tegur kitorg tanya asal mana,kenapa pakai tdg sume,siap puji2 kitorg lawa la ape la kan..tak kisah pun sebenarnya.asalkan tgur baik2.tapi dah tu budaya yg terdidik dalam diri dorg,tak boleh buat ape la

n kalau nak ckp korea kotor,biaselah..kalau banding ngan jepun mmg agak kotor,tapi kalau banding dgn malaysia,rasanya korea better.

ok je...despite kekasaran org2 korea,korea mmg tempat yg best utk melancong..tempat2 n makanan pun best..senang nak makan,tambahan pastry2 dorg guna lemak sayuran.even makan kat kedai korean food pun,dorg selalunya masak,kalau seafood mmg seafood semata,bukanlah mcm jepun ni haaa...segala mcm nak diletak vavik!eheh

mmgla suka kan,dah namanya pun suka sgt ngan drama n lagu korea heh...

sampai jumpa lagi korea,kalau ade rezeki,bolehla jumpa lagi,aqem..sebelah menyebelah je kita ni...okay~anyeong hi geseyo~

p/s:at least,we're okay...

12 May 1990.

2011-05-12T00:14:00.003+09:00

생일 축하 해, 리아야~

앞으로,많이 울지 말아....

무서워

2011-05-11T02:40:00.001+09:00

그대는 지금 어디에?

I'm Always Like This.

2011-05-08T00:24:00.004+09:00

selamat hari ibu untuk ibu yang tersayang.

im sorry because im always like this.

we can hardly say about how much we love each other,

but i know that your love for me is uncountable,

uncomparable to anything,

because without your love,

i wont be able to see this world.

thanks for every single thing that you have done to me,your naughty,stubborn daughter.

thanks for every single pray that you've utter for me,

because without your pray,

i wont be able to keep my head up high till today,

i wont be able to hold on my faith,

i wont be able to smile after i cry,

i wont be able to stand up after i fell down.

and when im sad,

there's always something that i wanna do,

to hug you and cry on your shoulder,

but im always like this,

those things will always stay only in my heart

because im not a five-year-old kid,

that can freely cry and cry.

without you worrying,

why so suddenly im crying.

because theres so much things that make me crying alone when the night comes,

and im afraid to tell you that you might worrying about me,

day and night.

i wish i can be a kid once again.

im always like this,

i dont know how to express my feelings

i end up writing here

without you knowing,

how much i love you.

as i'll end up just write awkwardly,

'selamat hari ibu' to you,

i hope you know,

i will always love you...

selamat hari ibu,ibu.:)

ratu hati hamba.

sepertinya...

2011-05-05T23:41:00.004+09:00

sampai bila nak lari dari kenyataan?

sampai bila tak bersedia mendengar kebenaran?

sampai bila harus rapuh dengan apa yang telah tertulis?

aku pun tak tahu.

terlalu jauh aku berlari

sehingga aku hilang jalan kembali.

aku mungkin hilang jalan kembali.

aku mungkin tak dapat kembali.

kerana tiada yang cuba mencariku pulang

jalan kembali mungkin di depanku

namun mungkin juga itu adalah kebenaran

yang menyakitkan

kebenaran memaksa aku hidup dalam memori.

dalam memori.

aku dan dia masih ada.

sepertinya masih ada.

2011-04-26T02:30:00.001+09:00

kosong

p/s:lia~*sambil tongkat dagu*:(

it's okay even if it's hurts...

2011-04-24T20:43:00.001+09:00

''Does it hurt because of loving you?

Is it the punishment for loving you so much?

Even though you say that I can lose everything

It's okay if I just have you to be with me

Even if my heart is broken when loving you

Even if my heart is separated when waiting for you

It's okay because I love you

It's okay even if I get hurt''

p/s:untold longing.

i don't think so.

2011-04-24T00:40:00.004+09:00

this is the soundtrack of the Wong Fu Production 'Stangers,again...'

Just give it to me quick

Are you coming home?

Don't dance around it

I need to hear this

I chose you long ago

Have you chosen me yet?

'Cause I'm starting to wear thin, find it harder to forgive

Every time you let us slip down your list of priorities

I'm waiting for you to finally say you're here and here to stay

But darling, if you know that it's through

You can't keep doing what you do

If it's time to let go of you

Now please don't take this wrong

You know I want you

But don't think I won't move on

'Cause I'm starting to wear thin, find it harder to forgive

Every time you let us slip down your list of priorities

I'm waiting for you to finally say you're here and here to stay

But darling, if you know that it's through

You can't keep doing what you do

If it's time to let go of

You once whispered words to me

Wondering if anybody loved each other like we do

I'm waiting for you to finally say you're here and here to stay

But darling, if you know that it's through

You can't keep doing what you do

If it's time to let go of you

Time to let go of you

everyone can relate to the lyrics right?

p/s:did i stop playing the game that i've created?

did i give up on my own strategies,

when the opponent's wall is so hard to break through?

i don't think so.do you?

strangers,again...

2011-04-22T01:54:00.005+09:00

this touch my heart.

when thinking about people that once a stranger to us,

then they became the most important person in our life,

but finally,

we're strangers...

again.

make my heart thinking,

i'd rather being strangers to everyone from the beginning,

not knowing anyone,

than being strangers...

again.

p/s:stage 4,comfortable.i miss that word.even it's not 'i love you'.

2011-04-18T21:34:00.004+09:00

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't, hello.

My heart refuses to let you go, no matter how hard I try.

I continue to hold onto you even though it causes me to hurt more.

When you first saw me, did you fall in love with me?

These tears have become painful.

You've done well, well done.

Were you planning on hurting me?

The more I think about it, the more I hate it.

I don't know what to think anymore.

Heart...

please don't fall in love anymore.

I want to laugh again, I want to forget you.

I'll send all my love away, back to you.

Even though it's painful,i'll smile and say 'goodbye'...

I can't help but think about it when I have nothing to do.

Can't you see that I'm full of tears?

If you just ended up walking away, why even bother looking at me in the first place?

My eyes begin to sting again.

You've done well, well done.

Were you planning on hurting me?

The more I think about it, the more I hate it.

I don't know what to think anymore.

Heart...

please don't fall in love anymore.

I want to laugh again, I want to forget you.

I'll send all my love away, back to you.

Even though it's painful,i'll smile and say 'goodbye'...

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't, hello.

It's alright, love, let it go and learn to laugh again.

Everything worked out, it'll be fine.

Maybe one day I'll think of this again.

One day, you'll be in this kind of pain.

One day, you'll be the one crying.

Heart...

please don't fall in love anymore.

I want to laugh again, I want to forget you.

I'll send all my love away, back to you.

Even though it's painful,i'll smile and say 'goodbye'...

p/s:its not a 'goodbye',its just 'be right back'.

late

2011-04-14T01:17:00.001+09:00

what if i'm already too late without im noticing that?

what if the thing i hope,is just some pathetic imagination?

what if,there's nothing left there for me.

i just hope...im not late...too late,that everything has changed

everything is a mess.

2011-04-11T18:24:00.007+09:00

im in lost.with all the hectic life,and all the others emotionally problems dont go well.sampai bila nak berlari,lari dari masalah...sampai bila nak sembunyikan diri.i dont know.i just dont have the confidence to face all the problems yet.i wanna try to face it,but im just scared that it'll hurt me so bad till the point that i cant be able to stand up.until i can barely breathing.i might look strong,but who knows how much i cry in my sleep.

because i have nobody to help me here,so i need to protect myself,my heart first.im sorry if the fact that im running away make you feel guilty,i just dont mean it.n i know you all the pain,you dont mean it.even if you dont mean it,it hurts me a lot..im also sorry for all the pain i gave you.

in front of me,i have two different choices that i dont really like both of it;running away till all this crazy stuff end,and only after that i face our problem,or face the problem now,n i might tear apart,fall onto the ground,not being able to do any work,living my life like a living corpse.

because i need to protect myself,ive choose the first choice.but im afraid,by that time,youre no longer be there.youve gone with another person that gives you the attention you always want.ya Allah,make me choose the best choice for me.

as im too afraid of losing him...

p/s:takut

insyaAllah.

2011-04-06T05:24:00.002+09:00

this lyrics touch my heart.

Andainya kau rasa tak berupaya

Hidup sendirian tiada pembela

Segalanya suram

Bagai malam yang kelam

Tiada bantuan tiada tujuan

Janganlah berputus asa

Kerana Allah bersamamu

Insya Allah Insya Allah Insya Allah

Ada jalannya

Insya Allah Insya Allah Insya Allah

Ada jalannya

Andainya dosamu berulang lagi

Bagai tiada ruang untuk kembali

Dikau keliru atas kesilapan lalu

Membelenggu hati dan fikiranmu

Janganlah berputus asa

Kerana Allah bersamamu

Kembalilah

Kepada Yang Esa

Yakin padaNya

Panjatkanlah doa

Oh Ya Allah

Pimpinlah daku dari tersasar

Tunjukkan daku ke jalan yang benar

Jalan yang benar

i feel so small,so lonely,so scared lately,as im afraid to face this upcoming life.

insyaAllah,everything's gonna be fine.amin...

new

2011-04-04T04:23:00.003+09:00

dah lama tak update this blog..n thanks for my friend sebab promote me,n suddenly this blog followers jadi 51(masa aku menaip ni 51 lah)thank you2...but im actually not so into blogging,hanya berblog bila rasa teringin menulis,atau ada sesuatu yang perlu ditulis,atau tengah emo atau PMS HAHA!i must admit,im such an emotional person.so,mula2 sekali im so sorry if im dissapointed any of the followers pada masa akan dtg,yes you can freely unfollow me hehe.kalau blog ni cuma merepek2 sahaja....yes you know,people that study overseas sometimes can be so lonely that they only have their fb,twitter,n blog to talk to kan,heh.so im sorry guys...

n here is the latest cover.love IU voice.

im a normal person.im friendly tapi mungkin tak semua masa.maaf juga kalau ada tersinggung apa2,saya cuma manusia biasa,tak lepas dari kesilapan.n i can say im emotionally unstable hehe.mood selalu berubah.yep2.its a common problem i know.

my new sem start on 8th april,n everytime the new sem begins,everything's seems like heavier,n scarier.the study,the life,etc...im always start with zero spirit,zero confidence level,n zero effort.sometimes i wonder'kenapa aku pilih nak blajar farmasi kat jpn if im already know that im sooo lazy to study?'

so guys wish me luck okay?baru tgk manual lab dah rasa sgt2 berat hati 'OMG can i survive this time?'yeah thats me.critical thinker maybe.

after all,ive chose this path,i cant turn back n choose another road.i must admit,the world seems scarier,n im scared.

*but why this post becomes heavier too huh?*

back to the point,keep supporting me n wish me luck untuk setiap hari mendatang.i'll try my best to write something here heh.

p/s:im not the silent type of person,but sometimes its hard to express what you have in your heart into words,and talk to someone about it.for the time being,i've talk so much to Allah n i know He's listening every word ive said,n He'll grant my wish.Amin...

2011-02-11T06:23:00.001+09:00

some things are irreversible.and im in an endless pain.

like being hit by a bullet

2011-01-30T14:20:00.003+09:00

like being hit by a bullet,it hurts...:)

아직도

2011-01-28T15:13:00.001+09:00

너무 아파서,
그래서 웃어서.
너무 힘들었어,
그래서 웃어서.
너무 보고싶어서,

지금 까지,그냥 웃음만 나와

love,is weird(사랑은 이상해)

2011-01-20T14:12:00.006+09:00

you don't want to think about it
but that's the only thing in your mind
you said you don't want to see them
but every second,the longing is killing you
you said you hate them
but your heart scream out loud you love that person
you said you'll be okay if they walk away,
but you can't even imagine that moment
you said 'i'm happy as long as you're happy'
'even if you're gone,ill eat,live and laugh happily like always'
but why the tears keep crawling on your cheeks
those words all lies,you know it
but even if i know it,do i have any other choice?

the warmth from the love breeze
make my heart frozen to death
that words,
'i'll never fall in love again'
'i'll never get hurt by love again'
'i'll never believe in love again'
even after millions time i've repeated them
this foolish heart wont understand
they get hurt again
they cry again

there's so many things to talk,
but they all locked up in you heart
if i said that,will he feels sad
if i said that,will he feels guilty
if i said that,will he feels happy
is he busy?
is he talking to his friends right now?
am i interrupting him?
i keep thinking about it,again and again
after all,those unspeakable words
left here,in my heart

if i stay,will he love me,will he hate me
if i walk away,will he hate me,will he love me

love is weird

they call it love,
but what left is pain
and i'm here thinking
'am i in love,or am i in pain?'

p/s:내가 이제 사라진다해도 괜찮이?
내 마음은 너무 아프니까.
날 필요 없잖아?

like a star

2011-01-12T14:57:00.003+09:00

p/s:please shine,like a star in the sky.:)

here i am

2011-01-04T04:21:00.001+09:00

p/s:sometimes,i keep thinking,should i be asleep forever?

2010-12-24T14:06:00.006+09:00

its been a while since the last update.
perhaps the hectic life is the reason.
here's my latest cover.

i know im not good in singing low note..sound like whispering isn't it?
i'll try to improve next time...hee

both were request from a friend,and my bestfriend's sister.

p/s:i do hope i know how to give up on certain things in my life.

monday,6 december 2010,11.59 a.m

2010-12-06T23:58:00.004+09:00

I Don't Wanna Fall Out
But We're All Out Of Time
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

In One Day,
No Way You'll Be Mine
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

Mmmm... Don't Want An Ending

My Heart Is Running On Empty-
One More Day And Then We Go
And, Yeah, The Time Goes On Now
Don't Ask Me How,
I Don't Know.

We'll Be Home Tomorrow
About A Thousand Miles Too Far Away.
Say You Won't Forget
And I'll Be Okay.

At Least Tonight,
It's Just You and Me
And Honestly, That's Everything I Need.

I Don't Wanna Fall Out
But We're All Out Of Time
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

In One Day,
No Way You'll Be Mine
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

Tonight's A Countdown
Till The Day We're Not Around
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

Then You're Gone,
And We're On With Our Lives
(Is This Over?)
I Don't Want An Ending

Noo... Don't Want An Ending

The Days Turn To Hours
And It's Just A Moment Before They Go
I'm Scared To Say Goodbye
'Cuz What's After That?
I Don't Know

And As The Years Slip Past Us,
If We Lose Track Or Lose The Fight
I Will Search Forever
To Find A Way Back

To Tonight,
Where It's Just You and Me
And Honestly, That's Everything I Need.

I Don't Wanna Fall Out
But We're All Out Of Time
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

In One Day,
No Way You'll Be Mine
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

Tonight's A Countdown
Till The Day We're Not Around
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

Then You're Gone,
And We're On With Our Lives
(Is This Over?)
I Don't Want An Ending

We Say "See You Later" (See You Later)
But I Know There's No Way We're (There's No Way We're)
Around Here Again.
And Every "Until Next Time" (Until Next Time)
Feels Like One Bad Punchline
And I Don't Want That Again.

I Don't Wanna Fall Out
But We're All Out Of Time
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

In One Day,
No Way You'll Be Mine
(Is This Over?)
I Don't Want An Ending

I Don't Wanna Fall Out
But We're All Out Of Time
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

In One Day,
No Way You'll Be Mine
(Is This Over?)
I Don't Want An Ending

Tonight's A Countdown
Till The Day We're Not Around
(Is This Over?)
(Don't Want An Ending)

Then You're Gone,
(You're Gone)
And We're On With Our Lives
(Is This Over?)
I Don't Want An Ending

No... Woah... I... Don't Want An Ending.

We're All Out Of Time...
Don't Want An Ending
Mmmm... Don't Want An Ending.

it's what i feel yesterday.

p/s:there's a relationship that falls between love n friendship that remains untitled.and it's ours.happy birthday to you.

monday,29 november 2010,1.17 a.m

2010-11-29T01:17:00.005+09:00

the latest cover..

i really have nothing to say about my day,my life,my feelings..

feels like giving up on everything,but i know thats not a choice

i want to do stand up n breath..

but the air just suffocating me.

my heart keep going back n forth

what should i do,what should i care.

Bila cinta kini
Tak lagi bermakna
Yang ku rasa kini
Hanyalah nestapa
Ditinggalkan cinta masa lalu

Dulu kau tawarkan
Manisnya janjimu
Yang ku sambut itu
Dengan segenap hatiku
Bila engkau pergi
Tinggalkanku

Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Hingga ku memilih
Cinta yang fana

Perginya dirimu
merobek jantungku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan

i love this song..soothing

p/s:tons of work to do,but i dont know where to start,how should i end it.

sunday,28 november 2010,1.15 a.m

2010-11-28T01:15:00.004+09:00

i found this in facebook n i think this is so sweet n true.

i'm just copying it.

Mengapa Hawa tercipta saat Adam tertidur dan Hawa melahirkan saat dirinya terbangun?

Seorang laki-laki jika dia kesakitan, maka dia akan membenci. Sebaliknya wanita, saat dia kesakitan, maka semakin bertambah sayang dan cintanya,, Seandainya Hawa diciptakan dari Adam As saat Adam terjaga, pastilah Adam akan merasakan sakit keluarnya Hawa dari sulbinya, hingga dia membenci Hawa. Akan tetapi Hawa diciptakan dari Adam saat dia tertidur, agar Adam tidak merasakan sakit dan tidak membenci Hawa. Sementara seorang wanita akan melahirkan dalam keadaan terjaga, melihat kematian dihadapannya, namun semakin sayang dan cinta nya kepada anak yang dilahirkan bahkan ia akan menebus nya dengan kehidupannya.

Sesungguhnya Allah menciptakan Hawa dari tulang rusuk yang bengkok yang tugasnya adalah melindungi Qalbu(jantung, hati nurani). Oleh karena itu, tugas Hawa adalah menjaga qalbu. Kemudian Allah menjadikan nya bengkok untuk melindungi qalbu dari sisi yang kedua. Sementara Adam diciptakan dari tanah, dia akan menjadi petani, tukang batu, tukang besi, dan tukang kayu. Wanita selalu berinteraksi dengan perasaaan, dengan hati, dan wanita akan menjadi seorang ibu yang penuh kasih sayang, seorang saudari yang penyayang, seorang putri yang manja, dan seorang istri yang penurut.

Dan wajib bagi Adam untuk tidak berusaha meluruskan tulang yang bengkok tersebut, seperti yang dikabarkan oleh Nabi Muhammad SAW, “jika seorang lelaki meluruskan yang bengkok tersebut dengan serta merta, maka dia akan mematahkannya.” Maksud nya adalah dengan kebengkokan tersebut adalah perasaan yang ada pada diri seorang wanita yang mengalahkan perasaan seorang laki-laki.

Maka wahai Adam janganlah merendahkan perasaan Hawa, dia memang diciptakan seperti itu. Apabila seseorang wanita mengatakan dia sedang bersedih, tetapi dia tidak menitikkan airmata, itu berarti dia sedang menangis di dalam hatinya. Apabila dia tidak menghiraukan kamu setelah kamu menyakiti hatinya, lebih baik beri dia waktu untuk menenangkan hatinya sebelum kamu meminta maaf. Dan wanita sulit untuk mencari sesuatu yang dia benci untuk orang yang paling dia sayang....

isn't that sweet?:)

p/s:sikit lagi.

tuesday,23 november 2010,11:27 p.m

2010-11-23T23:27:00.007+09:00

this song sound so sweet..

also the lyrics

credit to this blog.

IU (아이유) & Na Yoon Kwon (나윤권) - It's First Love (첫사랑이죠)

How is it that we, how is it that now

How is it that the two of us ended up here

Time passes by like the stars inside many people

Inside my heart (My heart)

Filling my eyes (Filling)

Is all of you (You)

Piling up

It seems that without any sound

Even our cold fingertips become warmer

*Even if we don’t speak

We’re filled in each other’s eyes

Now when you’re sick

I will feel your forehead

Let us not be afraid

It’s an exciting first love like honey

Carefully, day by day again

I will always love you*

Your face (When I)

That voice (Remember)

When I remember them (You)

My heart becomes flushed

The cold day, frozen in white

Seems to be melting away

Even if we can’t see

The hands we gave each other are pretty warm

On the nights that you can’t sleep

I will hold onto your hands

We trust each other

It’s a first love that twinkles like a star

Even if our hearts are pounding

Step by step again, I will get a little closer

Like the delightful first snow

I want to have my first kiss

With you, who came to me

I can hear your heart

It seems like the two of us

Are the only ones in the world

*Repeat

You’re my first love

comel kan?hehe

p/s:you know what's funny?

when i heard a nice duet song,i immedietly think'oh i want to sing this song'

but then i realize....'hmmm,i've no one to sing with me anymore'

funny isn't it?

haha...

tuesday,23 november 2010,6.51 a.m

2010-11-23T06:51:00.006+09:00

i love this song,n the mv.

i love the lyrics,the voice of the singer is just perfect for the song.

feels like an ost for some korean drama.

doesnt the girl look a little bit like dian sastrowardoyo?heh

she's pretty,n the guy also good looking.

i like the storyline,when the girl trying to erase with the charcoal pencil meanwhile the guy is drawing with an eraser.a nice contradiction,isn't it?

this mv send me an idea,somehow,eventhough you try to erase something,but you're actually make it more vivid in your memory.

an eraser doesn't meant to be an eraser forever,they might be a tool for you to create something new.

simple,but meaningful huh?

im actually crying watching this mv,their crying and sadness were so real.

mana diorang dapat idea nak buat video clip simple,sedih,sweet mcm ni heh

thursday,18 november 2010,2.05 a.m

2010-11-18T02:05:00.003+09:00

here it comes the Penyakit-Mood-Serba tak kena...

pandang cermin je rasa sume tak kena...

semua i mean semua...

hidup,hati,badan,mood,kawan...aih...

lemak2 kat bdn yg takreti2 nak berkurang pffftt bencilah

spare tyre aku rasa dah mcm org mengandung 3 bulan gamaknya...

kerja menimbun2 masa takde...

makan tak tentu tapi takde r kurus pon

pastu takley nak makan sayur

masalah mental tak kurang2

ah semua lah

ape aje yg betul?

wednesday,17 november 2010,2.35 a.m

2010-11-17T02:35:00.003+09:00

i'm not feeling well...perhaps get sick by the weather,or maybe the stress,or maybe i'm sick of myself heh....

oh tringin jugak nasi impit n rendang,tapi kalau kelas dr pg smpi ke malam tak ada maknanya...

salam aidiladha,dont worry i'm gonna be okay.

p/s:let me decide what i wanna do by myself this time.

monday,15 november 2010,4.40 p.m

2010-11-15T16:40:00.006+09:00

''kesedihan terpendam''

aku rasa kesedihan terpendam aku,bila bertambah lama2 dlm hati,even aku x mampu ngs,aku tak mahu ngs,sampai satu thp,kesedihan tu akan paksa jugak airmata aku keluar

tdo ptg2 mmg xbaik,tp ttdo nk wat mcm mana...

dlm tdo aku mimpi,aku naik kereta api yg penuh dgn org2 yg aku pernah kenal,org yg aku sayang,family,kawan,org yg pernah jadi special

then smpi kat satu station,aku kena turun,aku rasa dgn family aku sekali,tp aku x ingt siapa yg ada sekali dgn aku.

n aku perasaan ade satu silhouette dr jauh yg mengangkat beg merah,berjalan menjauh aku,dan aku kenal itu siapa.i once love him,tp skrg i neither hate nor miss him...he is someone else destiny...

bila aku turun dr kereta api,keluar dr station,aku menangis gila2,i dont know why.

tp,bila org berbeg merah tu tak turun dr kereta api,n berjalan pergi dr aku,adakah org yg tak turun skali dgn aku kat station tu,org yg tggl dlm kereta api tu,maksudnya akan tgglkan aku jugak?

n i dont really remember adakah my whole family are now with me,outside the station?

jadi bila terjaga dr mimpi,punyalah basah dah menangis dlm mimpi,luar mimpi pon dah menangis,pastu smbg ngs...

i'm too scared to lose anyone that i have now...

ye aku tau,mimpi ptg2 syaitan suka kacau.

cuma ini cerita kesedihan terpendam,kesan drpd sedih bertambah,tp xboleh ngs,xmahu ngs.

air mata tu tetap mahu keluar.

monday,15 november 2010,12.05a.m

2010-11-15T00:05:00.005+09:00

I'm smiling.

Do not worrry, I am fine, just go the way you were traveling
I’ve been so sorry for making things hard

I won’t give reasons or excuses anymore
Thank you for loving me thus far

When tears come out, I will smile, just the way you did for me
I am smiling like a fool, as I send you away

Please take care of that person, I still linger for that person
Once I love you I cannot let go of your hand
Once I send you away, I am hurting like this
It’s too late, but I am still happy

I don’t know why, you worried for me so much
You’ll never know how much I regret this

Because I am like you, I’ve suddenly become a lingering fool
I’ve become pitiful after you left

It’s laughable that I could not be with you when you were here and I am like this now after you left
I am smiling today by myself, I want to see you

Please take care of that person, I still linger for that person
Once I love you I cannot let go of your hand
Once I send you away, I am hurting like this
It’s too late, but I am still happy

As my tears hit the back of my hand without a sound
I should be smiling but I cried instead

When I think of that person, when I miss that person
Smiling and crying can no longer console me

Please take care of that person, for the last time
If I could see that person, I will smile brightly
If you see me...please smile

p/s:can't you hear me?

sunday,13 november 2010,2.46 a.m

2010-11-13T02:46:00.004+09:00

sometimes,i put my hand on my chest,and said,

"hye my heart,are you okay today?how are you holding up?do you really exist here,or have you broken into pieces,and scattered by the cruel life's wind?"

when i feel their beat,i know it's there,longing for you.

what if someday they stop beating?

p/s:i'm sorry,i don't have the confidence now.

its raining outside

2010-11-12T05:13:00.001+09:00

the truth is,i'm afraid of losing you..

tuesday,9 november 2010,1.31 a.m

2010-11-09T01:31:00.004+09:00

I want to become a flowerpot at your small window
even if I won’t be able to say anything
from time to time, I’ll receive your smiles and touch
and I could watch your sleeping face endlessly

p/s:happy birthday abah,i'm sorry if i never know how to say that i love you so much

sunday,7 november,11.09 p.m

2010-11-07T23:09:00.001+09:00

IMY

selamat pengantin baru

2010-11-05T16:11:00.006+09:00

selamat pengantin baru kak eika~waaa...seronoknye kalau dpt pergi kenduri kahwin kak eika kan...takpe2...tak dpt pergi pon,kirim doa dr jauh jelah yg boleh lia buat :-)...

ucapan utk pengantin,

selamat pengantin baru...semoga kekal abadi,bahagia hingga akhir hayat...dapat anak comel2 nanti hehe.....

apa agaknya rase ade kakak/abg buat kenduri kawin?

friday,5 november 2010,3.26 a.m

2010-11-05T03:26:00.002+09:00

im the one that decided to leave you,but why it feels like im the one that being left out?

life is funny,right?

wednesday,3 november 2010,11.29 p.m

2010-11-03T23:29:00.002+09:00

i just hope that you're doing good...

cuz i'm not

sunday,31 october 2010,10.19 p.m

2010-10-31T22:19:00.003+09:00

i'm going crazy,

holding back,

all the words that i can't say

pretending like i don't even care

p/s:how are you?

angels cry

2010-10-30T01:48:00.002+09:00

I shouldn't have walked away

I would've stayed if you said

We could have made everything OK

But we just

Threw the blame back and forth

We treated love like a sport

The final blow hit so low

I'm still on the ground

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall

Shattered in pieces curled on the floor

Super natural love conquers all

'Member we used to touch the sky

And lightning don't strike

The same place twice

When you and I said goodbye

I felt the angels cry

True love’s a gift

We let it drift

In a storm

Every night

I feel the angels cry

C'mon babe can our love be revived

Bring it back and we gon' make it right

I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive

As the angels cry

I thought we'd be forever & always

You were serenity,

You took away the bad days

Didnt always treat you right

But it was ok,

I do somethin stupid

And u will still stay with me

But u can only go for so long

Doin the one you claim to love wrong

Before to much is enough

You look up and find your love gone and

We were so good together

How come we could not weather

This storm and just do better

Why did we say good bye

Cause lighting don't strike

The same place twice

When you and i said good bye

I felt the angels cry

True love is a gift

We let it drift

In a storm

Now every night i hear the angels cry

True love is a gift

C'mon babe can our love be revived

Bring it back and we gon' make it right

I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive

As the angels cry

Baby I miss you

Know that i love you

p/s:can't i just stay by your side?

amalia alias

worst feeling ever

Aiman Hakim Ridza :)

Hyeon-Ji & Seok-Yeo

inconsolable

goodbye,my friend...

A happy new year.

A Lot Like Love.

homie home!!

light the heart

foreign students party

Please Take care of My Boyfriend

happy birthday to you~

unbreak my heart.

it's over...

in another 3 days,im gonna be all alone,again.....;(

spot the difference

shall we play a game?:)

Hello,is it me you're looking for?

Maaf Zahir Batin.

with a smile on my face,you'll never know what inside my heart.

i dont know...

a poor little cat.

I guess you don't know

derma darah dan selamat berpuasa..

punching bag

seriously need a punching bag right now.siapa rela?grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

그럴 겁니다… 잊을 겁니다…

down

everything's going down,down,down......

no need to tell me.

Because I Miss You

annoying

benda yang paling annoyingbila berat sampai satu tahap dah tak reti2 nak turun..!!!!pfffftttt rasa nak mengamuk pun ada.panas2 ni buat rasa semua benda annoying,even tgk diri sendiri dalam cermin pun annoying grrrrrrr....rasa nak tumbuk org pun ada!please lah cepat sikit habis exam ni!arghhhhhh

The Climb

'Ain't about how fast I get there,Ain't about what's waiting on the other side,It's the climb...'

우리 다시 만나요..

entahlah

the battle

못해

flu

congratulation!

to-do-list

If you see him...

Just A Nice Guy

On Rainy days,I'm Always...

Hatiku Milikmu

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

smoking

비가 오는 날엔

난 그 사람이 아프다.

슬픔보다 더 슬픈 이야기

Trip to Seoul(24th April~5th May 2011)

12 May 1990.

무서워

I'm Always Like This.

sepertinya...

it's okay even if it's hurts...

i don't think so.

strangers,again...

late

everything is a mess.

insyaAllah.

new

like being hit by a bullet

아직도

love,is weird(사랑은 이상해)

like a star

here i am

monday,6 december 2010,11.59 a.m

monday,29 november 2010,1.17 a.m

sunday,28 november 2010,1.15 a.m

tuesday,23 november 2010,11:27 p.m

IU (아이유) & Na Yoon Kwon (나윤권) - It's First Love (첫사랑이죠)

tuesday,23 november 2010,6.51 a.m

thursday,18 november 2010,2.05 a.m

wednesday,17 november 2010,2.35 a.m

monday,15 november 2010,4.40 p.m

monday,15 november 2010,12.05a.m

sunday,13 november 2010,2.46 a.m

with a smile on my face,
you'll never know what inside my heart.

seriously need a punching bag right now.siapa rela?

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

'Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side,
It's the climb...'